I have always question every intention, because I was always being mislead to something they don’t really intend to, and how pathetic I was to believe that they actually like me when it wasn’t. I overthink too much that I made myself believe that all of it was true and no matter how I deny it, my expectations and make-believe statements hurt me more than the person itself.
I’m so sorry for being so naive, for not knowing that they can only offer friendship and for being attached easily because some would pretend that they care when they aren’t. I’m not trying to blame anyone from it because even if they mislead me, I’m still responsible with my own feelings and trying to distance myself before it gets worse is the only thing I can do.
But things are clear to me now, and I have realized that I was too focused on decoding other’s intentions and actions that I almost forgot that I was a precious gem and a working progress as well, I was searching for an affection when I should love myself more than anyone and finding my worth can be the greatest thing that I can offer to myself.
So for now, I’ll focus on myself first and find what my heart truly desire and do something that my future self will thank me for and who knows? maybe one day when the right time comes, the right person will come along and by that time, I know I’m already whole and complete.