Dear future boyfriend / husband (Insert the Meghan Trainor song here),
I am having these crazy thoughts about you. I wonder what you look like, Do you have a mole in your face? Do you have better lashes than I do? Do you have thick eyebrows? Do you have a beard? I wonder how tall you are? What’s your favorite coffee or do you even drink coffee?Do you play basketball? Soccer? or are you a computer geek? Do you love to eat as much as I do? Or do you love to travel just like me? I wonder if we’ve met already? Are you one of my guy friends? Have we sat beside each other at the church? Was it you sitting across my table last night? or last week? or two months ago? How’s your day at work? Have you eaten? or are you sick right now? (I hope not!), or maybe you’ll be on a date today with another girl (Okay, as early as now you are forgiven!) There are so many how’s, why’s and what if’s. I wonder how he’ll lead us to each other and How God will make a way for us to meet.
There are moments when I just wanted to give up on love. I wanted to give up on the idea that one day I’ll meet you. and days when I tell myself that maybe being in a relationship isn’t what God wants for me. Often times, I feel hopeless,frustrated and tired of waiting.
There are nights when sadness creeps and I have this negative thought that maybe this the consequences of the mistakes and wrong decisions that I have done in the past. I tend to look down on myself, thinking that maybe real love isn’t really for me. It is as if no one’s gonna love me and accept me anymore. But despite of it I am truly grateful because every time these thoughts comes into my mind like crashing waves the Lord never fails to remind me that He’s a forgiving father and My past will never define the beautiful future He has in store for me. As I was watching Ms. Miriam Quiambao’s testimony in a social media platform, She mentioned Psalms 37:4 which says, “Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” These verses struck my heart and served as a reminder that looking and waiting for you isn’t my main purpose in life. It made me realize that my main purpose in life is to serve the King who loved and accepted me first. The void in my heart can never be filled by any man, Even by you. This void can only be filled by Him and it is only God’s love that truly can satisfy my needing heart. When days that fear cripples my heart to love again He comforts me with His love. His love for me reminds me that no pain is too deep for Him. It is an everyday battle for the truth, But by His grace I know I can surpass this.
Love,
It might take time before He leads us to each other but I know it’ll be worth it.
I know He is pruning our characters first . I believe that God is preparing you to become the best husband to me and father to our future children, I know you’ll be a great head of the family because Jesus is your mentor. I know that everything that I went through shaped me into who I am today. I may be wrong for you now, But I know God is preparing me to be the kind of woman that He wants me to be for you.
Despite of the waiting please do know that I am praying for you. I am praying for God to protect the man of my dreams everyday. Please do know that I am not just the one praying for you, My parents are praying for you, They are praying for a Godly man to finally have the courage to step up and man up for me and get their approval first. I want you to know that my sister and brother are also praying for you, praying that one day a courageous man will have the courage to pursue me. My best friends are praying for you too, They are praying that one day I’ll introduce you to them. They are excited for double dates so that I will no longer arrive on our dinner dates alone and be envious of them.
Please do know that even though it is hard to wait, Even though all these thoughts in my head makes me want to meet you right now, I will still choose to wait for you patiently because I’d rather trust in His plans than to follow my emotions.
For now, I will just surrender and lay down my broken heart to Jesus and let him do the healing so that when I finally meet you, My heart is ready to love you wholeheartedly without any doubts and restraints. Not just to simply love you but to respect you as a man and cherish you as my confidant.
Love, I am excited to meet you, I am excited to finally introduce you to my family. I am excited to go on dinner and movie dates with you. I am excited to ride our first plane ride, to go on diving, to do our first mountain hike, to get lost on our road trips. I am excited to hear how you laugh, To exchange stories together and look into your eyes and breathe a silent prayer saying “Thank you Jesus, You made me wait.” I am excited to text you and call in the morning and when I get home from work. There are a lot of things I am looking forward about you and this is the reason why I am holding on and Believing that God is still writing our love story.
So Mr. Right, Even if most days I do things on my own, I am okay with it for I know in His right and perfect time all of these will happen. Hang in there! I will meet you and I’ll hug you real soon!
Praying for you always,
Your Ruth
