I miss you. Maybe that’s an understatement. We’ve been on and off together for 5 months and I ended it now. I ended it again. I was hurt. I felt used in the entire duration of our relationship.
Physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, just imagine how you used me physically? We kissed but I felt like you’re thinking of another girl while kissing me although we never went too intimate but that is enough to be used physically. Mentally? I keep thinking of you everyday, who you’re with, what did you do, are you in a relationship with another girl too and etc. It nearly drive me crazy, crazy how it sounds but this was the first time I was obssessed as I may say to a guy, that was you. Emotionally? I cried and been depressed whenever we broke up or you being the asshole that you are. Spiritually? I made you the center of my prayer always, the mistake that I made and regretted.
I broke up with a very long message that says
” Siguro it’s not really our time gaa. We keep on coming back to the same reasons why we ended it the last time. Siguro you think I’m overacting about this, but Im hurt. Not just because of the lack of time, but I felt the lack of attention too, replies that never came, ‘I love you’s’ that are not reciprocated at times and heresays of people. Sige na, I know you’ll gain from this too. I think I reached my limit of loving you gaa. Rest assured I’m still inlove with you but I’ll get over this. Let’s just end this.”
I cried upon that decision of letting you go, and you replied,
“ok”
I cried harder when realization dawned on me, that you are not worth it of my love. That you didn’t even say anything but ‘ok’ , and I was badly hurt. You didn’t value me the way that, I do to you. I fought for us whenever my family picked on us and they being against our relationship but I never heard you telling me something to cheer me up. I cried harder when I realized that I made the biggest mistake of making you the center of my prayer when in fact I should be praying for myself, because you used me, intentionally or unintentionally the important thing is I know that now.
But ‘Ga’ please remember that there was once a girl who went crazily inlove with you, did almost everything for you to be happy, cheered you up when you’re sad, prayed for you and your success, and most especially loved you with all her heart.
Now, I’ll be someone who my family wants me to be and I wanted to be. Maybe our paths will cross again , maybe not but rest assured I will be fine. I will ‘let go and let GOD’.
