Best,
I love you and I will tell you everyday even in silence, even in secret.
Just when I finally found the courage to face my fears supposedly today, but you are leaving for work overseas.
I have already created a script and scenario in my head these past few days. Despite the emerging fears and doubts on how you would react or respond to what I am about to confess, I was already decided to tell you because I can no longer carry the heavy baggage in my heart (per record, almost 10 years na ‘to). Knowing that I am hiding something from you only increases the guilt I feel everyday because I am aware I am betraying your trust in me (ng hindi mo alam). I don’t want to, Best. I swear. I don’t want to and I don’t intend to.
But what if I tell you? Gusto kong maging matapang. Pero paano kung tuluyan ka nang mawala sa buhay ko? Who’s gonna lift you up everytime you would break down? Who’s gonna listen to your deepest sentiments? And who’s gonna be there for me too?
Gusto ko na lang ulit maging duwag, kung yun lang ang tanging paraan para manatili ka, para makasama ka pa – sa habambuhay.
Love, Best
(PS. Pasensya na Ben&Ben at Moira, kahit gusto kong maging matapang dahil sa kanta nyong “Pasalubong”, pero hindi pa rin ako aamin sa kanya. Si Lord ang bahala na magtanggal ng feelings na ‘to, kung hindi naman Nya kalooban. Kung God’s will naman, when the time is right, He will make it happen.)
