Dear Self,
How are you? Sometimes, it’s okay to say that you are not okay. It’s okay to feel sad. That there were days you need someone to talk to, someone who will listen to you without being judged. Someone you can talk fearlessly about anything. You always fear that they will never understand you. Or they might get bored listening to your stories. You chose not to open up anything. You chose to be aloof and keep things from yourself.
But I admire you that whenever you feel that way, you chose instead, to run to God, to talk about it with Him. Every night you always wanted Him to be with you, to hug you.
You have been battling with your self-worth. Sometimes, you think that you are not good enough. You are not beautiful enough. You focus on your lack. You let your insecurities eat you up. And sometimes, you depend on what people will say or think of you. You don’t know what you really wanted in life. You can’t find you whys. And you are always asking God what is your purpose. But in the deepest part of your heart, that’s where God heals you. That’s where He tells you, He is enough, you are enough, you are beautiful, you are not lack, and it is not what they say, but what He says. And your main purpose is Him, loving and glorifying Him because He loves you so much.
Always remember that I have my faith in you. You do things you are afraid of doing. Thank you for doing your best and putting passion in what you do. You have been so strong to conquer all your silent battles. Thank you for not giving up. Thank you for trying to be better every single day. One step at a time, I know we will get there. Keep enjoying the process. As you seek God, I can see that He is changing you, the person you never expected to be.
I want to thank you for trusting God more, for surrendering all your worries and fears to Him, for asking Him guidance as you go along the way. This year, you have been closer to Him and I am more grateful for your faith. Faith that even if your prayers are still unanswered, you kept praying anyway. 2020 have been so crazy, countless worries and fears, countless overthinking. And amidst the uncertainties, countless sleepless nights, you survived. Indeed, God is a big God. I was so glad that this year too, you have finally realized deep within your soul that life is not a race. It is more than okay if you still do not have a partner, do not have kids, do not have a business or do not have everything. You are taking charge of your life. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’ll figure it out.
I am grateful for your life and for your health. You love your family and those people around you. You are so sweet and kind. You always choose to smile and be happy. I will always be proud of what you have become. Keep trusting God. Keep seeking Him. Keep your focus on His promises. Keep moving forward. Keep on trying. Keep shining. I cannot guarantee you that it is easy, because life is never easy. But, it will be worth it. May God bless you a thousand fold. And may God finally give all the desires of your heart in His perfect time.
You deserve the love you freely give. Don’t ever forget to love yourself.
With so much love,
YOU
