For the second time, I want to say goodbye.
I’m not sure how to say this, but today I choose not to deliberately use metaphors and personifications to tell you how I feel.
I really, really like you.
And the problem is, I had sworn to myself that I would never do.
Unlike others, it was not something about your eyes and your smile because they seem normal to me.
It’s about you… as a whole. You are more than the sum of your parts. Regardless of all that obvious “flaws,” you are not a flaw in the Lord’s plan.
For me, you are beautiful. Not the cringey kind, but the brave one. The strong one. The soft one. The radical one. You’re terrific, and I admire you for the way you imperfectly love everybody around you.
Thank you for loving me. The problem is, I am included in your population of everybody.
It’s hard to let go of all my daydreams because maybe, just maybe, we can be great together. Maybe, I can make you laugh a little louder or dream a little bigger.
Maybe, just maybe, if we won’t miss out on each other, it can be magical.
I’m saying goodbye once more because I want to stop waiting for you. I want to stop telling myself that this could be possible. I want to purify all my intentions for you because I don’t want to get hurt in the end.
Thank you, though, for everything. Thank you for the inspiration and for somehow helping me get back on track. Thank you for making me feel like a child entering another child’s universe with every word you say.
We may not walk together the way I want to, but I am now going in the same direction as you.
They say we should not be apologetic for loving people, but I’m sorry. I’m sorry for believing that we could be so much more. I promise I won’t think of it that way anymore.
I love you, my dream guy, and maybe not in a romantic way. I just know that I love you. You’ve grown so much. And I’m happy I was able to see that. I’m honored to see pieces of who you are, even those that I have to see from a distance.
For the second time, I also want to say goodbye. Because today, I decide to wait on the Lord and honestly, genuinely, with all my heart, make Him my only One.
Love,
Me
