#TOTGA. A notion that was created through passage of time. It is what we commonly define as “The One That Got Away”. In layman’s term we refer to it as “pinagtagpo pero hindi itinadhana” (destined to meet but not destined to be together).
For some, #TOTGA can be that someone you have loved, or maybe you were that someone that had been loved. It can also be a collection of unspoken words, unexpressed feelings, and unexpected endings which may lead to questions of “what ifs”.
What if you tried more?
What if you said something better?
What if you did that and those?
Few of a hundred fold questions left unanswered. Remains of memories of how you have loved and lost someone at the same time. How things ended when you have never started. How something may have been beautiful, yet you choose to leave. Your #TOTGA may be that person whom you would have spent your life with yet the odds are against the both of you.
Or maybe, your #TOTGA can be something.
This may be not just for a cliché failed romantic relationship to someone. But can also be a failed relationship to some things in your life.
Those opportunities. Chances. Dreams. Passion.
All gone because you have failed to try again. You have failed to chase harder. You have failed to believe more. How something may have been successful, yet you choose not to do it anymore. Your #TOTGA may be that person you would have become, yet you have failed to be one.
These may only be few of many thoughts that come into your mind whenever you are in an unwanted situation. You let it become a habit to just think of it as your “The One That Got Away”— those “kung sana” and “paano kung”. Someone or something that whenever you look back, you tag it as memories of “what ifs” and moments of “failures”. Then you stopped there. Because why not? People come and go anyway. Opportunities were already lost. Chances were already missed. Dreams will just remain dreams. Passion will just remain passion. What else could you do then?
These were the same thoughts I had when I randomly asked God these exact words…
“Why You didn’t make it happen, Lord?”
Gladly, as I meditate, He made me imagine these things:
I imagined myself staying with someone I am not really meant to be with. The pain would have been unbearable for me. God doesn’t want that. So He put that someone away so I can enjoy my season while growing in faith believing that someone at the right time will come to pursue me.
I imagined myself grabbing all opportunities that’s coming my way when there is a bigger opportunity awaits. The fear of not having any would have been disappointing for me. God doesn’t want that. So He put those opportunities away so I can learn how to be decisive enough to know what’s for me and what’s not.
I imagined myself crying silently over all those chances I missed when actually not all chances are meant to be taken. The feeling of wanting to do something very much would have been terrible for me. God doesn’t want that. So He put those chances away so I can be more prayerful than just being hopeful.
I imagined myself trying hard to chase my dreams and pursue my passion when in truth I am not brave enough to chase and not determined enough to pursue it. The ability to do those things would have caused me weariness at the earliest point of my life. God doesn’t want that. So He put those dreams and passion away so I can manage my time and resources until I am capable and motivated enough to do the chasing and pursing.
Well, all along I thought I missed it all. But now I thank God for making me realize that these frustrations in life—in all aspect, are not meant to be kept and to have regret over and over again.
#TOTGA—The One That God puts Away.
He is right of putting all those TOTGAs in my life. Because I realized, those were the things that are neither meant to happen at that moment nor meant to happen in the first place. Buti na lang!
Ladies and gentlemen, I don’t know for a certain what you are going through as of this reading. However, maybe the same thing goes for you. Maybe you really did not let it go away that way, instead God did it for you in His own ways. He mean it when He said He has plans for you. Do not awaken love if you discern it is not the person God desires you to be with. Your failures will never define your success; yet every failure is an opportunity to seek relief from Him. Our God is our God in all circumstances of life. To testify on that, writing is one of my passion—and being a writer is one of my dreams. I have journals where I write my works, and had a lot of attempts to post it in any medium that’s possible. Yet it didn’t happen—on those moments. But praise be to Him, today, it did. I am glad, I have shared it with you.
Now there’s one thing that I wish for you to keep in the four corners of this passage. For your every TOTGA in life, it says in Isaiah 60:22, “When the time is right, I, the Lord, will make it happen.” Maybe not today, but soon it will. For now, enjoy your season. Walk at your own phase. Do everything in love. Nothing will be taken away if it is His will for you. So whenever your think of your #TOTGA, do not dwell and just thank God for it. Remember again, when the time is right, He will make it happen.
