Single men and women are living under a constant pressure to validate themselves in today’s society. “Really? No girlfriend at all?” Or “Are you gay?”, these are questions I always get whenever people discover that I’m still single at this age.“ And it made me think that, just because a man doesn’t have a girlfriend, regardless of his age, it doesn’t mean he is not a man already. They have a different perspective and some do not understand what the real meaning of singleness is.
So if you are a single and you’re not dating anyone yet, I have a good news for you: it is okay.
Pressure is There But Jesus is Always the Answer
Relationship can never satisfy the thirst of man for joy. Everyone wants to have a joyful life but being in a romantic relationship is not the answer. Hence, if you find that having a relationship can gratify your hunger for joy you are in deep trouble. Yes, you are, because it shouldn’t be that way. It will never fill the hole in the heart of a man.
Just remember that God is not delayed nor is too early to let you have a date. Don’t be pressured when people tell you something about your status. Follow the crowds no more. Trust the One who arranges time and season. He is for you. Don’t be envious of others if they already have because it is a great privilege for us to stay single while enjoying life wholly with the Lord.
When pressure comes, go and hide yourself in the shelter of the Lord and be satisfied with His love in this season. He will deafen your ears with His tender voice and silence your heart with His love (Zep. 2:17) whenever our hearts feel the weight of burden towards us.
Singleness is Not an Issue to be Explained
Some singles and shockingly young women (aged between 10 and 14) that I know worry themselves too much about what will happen on their future relationship status. They want to have a knight in shining armor or a prince charming that will save their hearts from the world. There is nothing wrong in hoping or dreaming to be with someone else in the future. What I just want to say is that, there is a right season for that. Don’t neglect the fact about broken homes, broken hearts, and single mom or dad because of pursuing to be with someone else at an early age.
Singleness will never be an issue that needs an explanation neither “a problem to be solved” according to Stacy Reaoch. Singleness is a season of being single. It does not mean you are alone in nowhere or wanting for someone to be with. Being single in despite of temptation to be with someone else and living in the pressure of the crowd means he is still and firm and secured knowing his own purpose in this very season. Because singleness is an opportunity that God gave us to enjoy Him more than any other human.
Singleness is Not Totally about Waiting but Mainly Preparing
This is what I learned in this season: Singleness is not entirely about waiting and waiting and waiting but most specifically it’s about preparing and preparing and preparing. When Jacob wanted to marry Rachel he didn’t just wait for seven years. He offered seven years of work to Laban (Rachel’s father) just to get the hand of his love (Gen. 29:18). But Laban lied to him so he worked for another 7 years (Gen. 29:30). An amazing thing about the character of Jacob is in verse 29, it says there, “So Jacob served seven years to get Rachel, but they seemed like only a few days to him because of his love for her” (Gen. 29:29). We will know if we are truly in love with that person if we can patiently wait and determined to prepare ourselves for that big event. Jacob worked and so should we. It’s not just about waiting it is also about preparing by working in and out of our character. Love drives out fear (1 John 4:18) and maybe the very reason to prepare and work hard is for us to be the suitable partner for that person.
Time will come that we will finally meet the one He purposely prepares for us. And don’t be surprised if the emotions that day will be unexplainable. Believe me, it will be a glorious day. There is no shame and fear if we enter the relationship with right motive and purpose. King Solomon reminds us that “there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens”. That there will be “a time to search and a time to quit searching” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 6).
We can be productive and enjoy life to the fullest while we are still single “by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith” (Hebrews 12:2) and by seeking His kingdom first for all those things will be added upon us (Matthew 6:33).
Indeed, I wanted to have a wife and children in the future but I will not make myself worry about those things. Peter reminded us to cast all our anxiety on him because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7). Therefore, if God cares for you and me it only means that He holds everything and under His control and He’s taking care of my soon to be partner in life. And also yours!