I have only few people in my life and has always been loyal to them. Despite of always getting to a point when I have to play dumb and ignore the fact that I am left out, I always choose to stay beside them and always stay available for them.
Sometimes I even feel like I am forcing myself to them. But I’m just lonelier when I’m alone. So I have to just be happy with the few times that I am actually chosen to be with. I am genuinely happy when with them, but also genuinely lonely when left out.
Today I’m just sad…disappointed…tired. I want to run, to go somewhere far and just leave them behind.
No one stays with me. No one makes themselves available for me.
Now I am left with two questions: Is my loyalty toxic to them? Or is my loyalty toxic to me?
