In case you find yourself coming back to him when the time’s still not right:
You don’t deserve him.
He may have gone through changes; he may have shown to have “grown” in the Lord like what you’ve been desiring to witness four years ago; he’s still the same old guy who’d leave you hanging after a long conversation, the same old guy who’d reply to your messages hours or even days after reading them.
He only wants you when he’s bored or that when he has no one else to talk to; it may not be what he wanted you to feel, but that is what he’s really making you feel. He didn’t defend his actions, and you don’t have to keep on running after him just to know why he has always been like that.
You don’t deserve him.
Being just a Christian that joins weekly youth fellowships that tweets and retweets Bible verses and quotes from Christian accounts don’t really guarantee that he’s already known how to treat a girl right—I hope that you still wouldn’t let your guards down this time.
You don’t deserve him.
Let me remind you of what you deserve: a man who won’t let you lie to your parents on who you’re going with on a Saturday; a man who would properly ask you on a coffee date and would ask permission from your parents—a man you wouldn’t be tempted to break rules for. A man that treats and respects you the way you deserve. A man that leads you the way Jesus wants you to be led.
Until he’s not grown to be that type of a man yet, then you know he’s still not the one.
I hope you wouldn’t let yourself be blinded by this Christian façade he’s showing, because he’s still growing, and you are, too. He may not be the right guy for you at the moment, but you may also be the wrong girl for him at the moment.
He may not deserve you as well.
While he’s busy taking on to his path, please don’t forget about yours, too.
Self, you know when the season’s already right, please don’t let yourself fall for the cries of your flesh. You’ve been in that situation before, and you know it didn’t end well. You’ve learned your lesson, and I hope that you’re going to do things right this time.
You may have tried to negotiate with yourself, debated with your heart and mind even, but please, don’t make excuses just so you could let him come through again.
I know, you’re going to tell yourself that he’s worth the risk, but isn’t your heart worth protecting as well?
May you constantly remind yourself to determine which battles to fight on, for you may feel like a warrior princess, but warriors aren’t supposed to fight with swords all the time. Wrestle in prayer instead.
When it’s already time, God will let you know.
And while you’re still trying to find the right path after losing yourself in the wilderness, may you always remind yourself to take your time, appreciate the view, and make the most out of your season of growth, preparing for the struggles and surprises life’s going to throw at you as you journey along the track.
In case you find yourself coming back to him when the time’s still not right:
Guard your heart, for it can be deceitful at times.
And in case you find yourself coming back to him when you feel like the time’s already right:
Wait for the LORD; be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.
(Psalm 27:14)
