People all have the right to label whatever this thing I felt for you: emotional dependency, infatuation, loneliness or anything they want. But I just want you to know, I love you. I always will: as a friend, a sister in Christ.
I can still recall the first time we met. All I thought it was just another small talk, until I get to know you deeper. I used to tell you always, you’re different. Rare. That’s why I never understood people who broke your heart. So as days go by, I realized you’re not hard to love. In fact it was a pleasure to show you that I treasure you.We shared each other’s interest, deepest secrets, thoughts, unpopular opinions, burdens, past hurts etc. I took time in listening to you. I always wanted to be there for you.
Those late night talks got even more often, longer, deeper until we told each other to rest. If only I can tell you during those times, you are my rest. You make me forget all my sadness. You remind me of how good God is that He gave me you.
I even fell for you more everytime we go out together. Even with the cheapest food and amusements, we were so happy in each other’s company, and I must say , I am the happiest man every single time we do.
The time already came when I felt that it’s already time for me to confess my love for you and pursue you. But you told me, you can only see me as a friend. I accepted it wholeheartedly. I must admit, it hurts. And worse? I can’t even cry it out.
Days after confession, being the good friend you are to me, you asked me how I am doing.
I just told you I’m getting better, although I knew you knew that I am not.
You asked me how can I love broken things. Broken people like you. I guess we all are sometimes. But the fact that you cared for me and helped me deal with all my monsters and ghost, just made me realized you are such a wonderful person. In fact, one of the most.
You thanked me for making you know that you can still be loved despite of all your flaws and told me that it’s just sad that you cannot show the same love to me.
Days have passed, things were never the same. Yet I was still the same person who loves you and will do everything to make you feel a little better.
I miss you; but I have to distance myself a bit. Because if I don’t, I will miss you even more; every single day, just like the good old days.
Just so you know, you are always in my prayers. I still ask your friends, how you are doing. And if there’s a hint of a bad day of yours in your social media accounts, I still think of messaging you. But I’m afraid that I cannot help you anymore.
Time will come I will get over you. I must. How I wish I have already
Once I find the girl I always pray for, I will tell you immediately because you said so before. You told me that you wanted a heart to heart talk with her.
When you already find your true purpose and eventually the right guy for you, message me. Let’s have lunch or go to the theaters. Tell me how you become genuinely happy again. Because that is my prayer for you: to be happy; even without me anymore.
Sincerely,
The same boy who loved you
