In this generation that we are in, it’s becoming hard to believe in love. I see so many families falling apart. Couples break up so often. I used to be a fan of “fairy tales,” those K-dramas that are too good to be true (I am not a fan by the way, but I do watch at times), those telenovelas that will tell you that loving someone can give you that ecstatic feeling, and so on.
I wrote so many stories about love – those ideals that I imagine doing with whoever that person that I will marry. The perfect way of falling in love that is now surreal. Reading all of those, I realized one thing – those are the fruit of watching so many “feel-good-romantic” movies in the past. Now, as I get much older, I am beginning to see the reality of relationship, family, the hardships of marriage, the struggles of couples, and so on. Our society teaches us that we have to get married, have kids, and build a happy family, and so on. The thrill of having someone with you feels wonderful. If love fuels us to explore a deeper relationship that will end in marriage, then why are there so many failed affairs? Divorce and annulment soared high these past years. Marital problems are here and there. Sometimes, as a single, it makes me feel scared.
What happened to the vow of love? What happened to the “till death do us part?” So, I began to realize that love has been overrated as the reason to get married. There is more than the “kilig” and “we are compatible” statement. Love alone cannot sustain two individuals until the end. Life happens. We all have our individualities that we deal with even when we are married. My fear of “what if I get married and eventually, we divorce?” I’d rather not to. What if along the way, he will fall out of love? Or maybe I will fall out of love? What will happen to the marriage?
What we see in movies and dramas is not the real deal.
I therefore conclude that getting married is not only about the feeling of being in love, though it’s part of it. Commitment plays the greatest role not to end up being strangers again. I believe that in the wisdom and humor of God, He makes us find pleasure in marriage (like what couples always say). And I come to believe now that when we decide to get married, there is an active faith, not a blind one. We use our hearts and at the same time, our brain. Because marriage is instituted by God for the purpose of honoring Him and that, the both of you can serve better for His glory. The fruit of that is the enjoyment of accepting one person to be with you for the rest of your life. To believe that when you fall out of love, God will replenish your love tank. Then, the both of you can continue in the blessings that He has in store for the both of you and to keep pressing on with the journey that He has set. When we follow God’s design, we save ourselves some pain.
