People drink to enjoy their life..
I drink to end mine.
When I found out that hard alcohol drinks could cause me death because it became the reason of my heart palpitation, instead of avoiding it I trained my self to love it and be used with it.
As an alternative instead of drinking poison to end the sadness I always feel in every part of my entire being, I choose the slowly but surely process and that was drinking alcohol.
I love the feeling of grasping breathe in every after shot of the alcohol. I like battling with the angel of death and I like it more when I win because I know we’re going to have more battles to come.
I don’t know…
Maybe drinking alcohol is my easiest way to escape the terrible reality. I find peace within me when I am drunk; I can sleep well up to eight straight hours, nothing could bother me even the loudest noise inside my head.
Am I an alcohol dependent? A psychology graduate who needs a psychiatrist? A depressed woman who needs therapy? Maybe yes or maybe no. I really don’t know.
You’ll never understand me unless you were exactly where I am now. You’ll never understand me unless you’ve felt how bad it hurts to hate your own self because the society is making you feel unworthy and unloved. You’ll never understand me if you’d never gone through what I am going through as of the moment.
Never judge a person who always drink — for you’ll never know why we chose to taste the bitterness of the alcohol drinks just to lessen the pain we’ve felt because of the bitter reality.
People with broken soul decided to endure the bitter taste of alcohol, drink every effin’ night so that the next morning when we woke up the first thing that will ache in our body is our head instead of our heart.
Never judge the life that we’d choose to live to unless you’ve been where exactly I am now. Never judge me unless you know how it feels to be like me. Because maybe other people drink to enjoy their life.. But me? I drink to end mine.
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Wrote this 7 years ago. During that time I can’t even sleep without drinking. But I am proud to say that with the grace of God, I was able to survive that phase.
PHOTO CTTO
