Categories Relationships

Always Rejected

Di ko na mabilang how many times na naba-busted ako sa mga babaeng nagugustuhan ko at niligawan. Di ko na na-experience magkaroon ng girlfriend since birth. I always taking for granted since I give all I have when I was in-love. There’s always nothing left in me. I always give all I have when it comes in love. I never think of what will happen next. I never accepted possibilities na baka walang mapuntahan tong mga ginagawa. Never listen too. Yet I did what I always did. Okay lang if walang matira, okay lang if wala man ako ng mapala. All I did is that, why not take serious kung talagang gusto mo naman yung isang girl. And that’s the weakest part of myself. Ang pagiging seryuso ko pag dating sa pag-ibig. Even paulit-ulit na. Di ko alam kung bakit. Kung bakit mailap sakin ang pag-ibig. I have my career, paid my own bills, help my family, supporting my college student sister, got premium insurance and investment. Sabi nila ang swerte daw ng mapapangasawa ko. Dahil marunong daw ako sa lahat ng gawaing bahay. Pero parang ako ata ang di ma-swerte. Risk taker akong tao. Di ko na na-iisip yung mga negative events. Madalas naiisip ko ang future ko na nag iisa. Sa bagay tanggap ko na din naman. I’m 31 years old na. Ngayon naging focus nalang ako sa trabaho ko. Yung trabaho, uwi, tulog tapos trabaho ulit. That’s the life cycle of my life now. Nothings interesting maybe. But there’s that voice inside me. A lonely one, a needy one. Someone who’s been hiding inside. It’s quite lonely down there. The feeling that you can’t hide in your own. The feeling of emptiness. Loneliness of being all alone.