“Move on”. The mind tells her heart.
It wasn’t easy. It wasn’t a one night effort to unlove someone you loved with all your heart. It wasn’t a one bucket of tears to spend.
To have loved someone with all your heart and then he left you hanging alone in the darkness, was like breaking your wings. You can’t fly and feel the breeze caressing your face. You were like imprisoned in a world where there is so much pain and everyday, rain of tears was like a painting sticked on your window. You were jailed by his voices, his laughs echoing throughout your cell. Your memories kept playing on your mind. And you were imprisoned in a small hope that someday he will come back and love you again. That one hope is the only thing that kept you holding on.
But he didn’t come back. He has another love. And then there were so many questions boggling your head. Why did he hurt you? Why did he lie when he could have just told you the truth? He promised to love you forever but why did he has another love now? You did everything to be the best woman for him, and yet why did he still left you? So many questions were left hanging. Pain was running along you, from your heart up to the edge of you. You were so hurt you wished you should have just died. All those memories, all those plans you made, all those promises, everything was gone with the wind.
What happened, you asked. But maybe, maybe not knowing the answers was the better than knowing why he left you alone. Maybe it was the best. Maybe he will still come back. Maybe you will still win him back if you reach out to him and put so much effort. But he still didn’t come back. You are still alone. Your agony was prolonged, you are still locked in the painful darkness. You are still breathing that suffocating air that your memories produce. You are still hurting.
But cheer up. Shine your own light in that darkness. Pray for the only person up above to hold your hand in the darkness, to guide you through it all. It was painful to be in that cell. But as time goes by, it will be unlocked and you will be set free.
Cry all you want. Spend all your tears until you make a whole ocean of it. Feel everything. Feel the pain. Shout at the top of a cliff. Drown yourself in the sea of sadness. Feel the agony in your whole body. Breathe the air of your painful memories. And then pray, because at the end of the day, that person above will wipe your tears. He will save you from that ocean of sadness and carry you to another day. He will be there for you.
Do it. And then as time passes by, slowly, slowly, slowly, the pain you were carrying will be lightened. You will be okay. Light will shine. Windows will be opened and you will breathe fresh air. Your door will be unlocked and you will be free from that cell, from that world. You will be free again. Your wound, your wings will be healed. You can fly again, and soar up to the highest, above the clouds. You were hurt and now you suffering was over.
Spread your wings and fly again. For it is now your turn to knock in another person’s jail window, and shine your light on them, together with that one person who healed you.
You are an angel, once in a dungeon, and now you are free.
