So let me tell you how it happened. How I got the ghost of him finally out of my system.
Sometimes, closure arrives months or even years later. Long after you stopped searching for it.
I prayed for it to happen. If God will let it, that I may be able to handle it with grace, calmness, and confidence. If not, I pray that I will just stop wanting it. I was distracted with other things going on with my life that I did not notice that neither is happening.
I stopped praying for it after my birthday. I figured, I am part of the percentage where their exes don’t come back or even apologize. We will never be friends again. I did not have an impact in his life. We’re just strangers with memories.
Before November ended, I was just having dinner with my friends after a tiring day at work. Then I got THE call. Unknown number. I did not even recognize the voice.
It’s HIM. THE EX WHO GHOSTED ME.
I was caught off guard. I honestly did not know what to say. Or how to react. But then, it all came naturally. I still did not get mad at him. I was shocked. This is too good to be true.
All the questions I have in my head were gone. Before, I wanted to hear the reasons why he left me and if he did love me at all. Now, it clearly does not matter anymore. All that matters is the peace his apology both gave us.
I went home. Listened to “Kathang Isip” on loop, and tried to make myself cry. And there it goes, happy tears. And all I can repeatedly say was, “thank you Lord”.
It’s true. God will give you what you pray for if and when the time is right. It might take months or years but with patience, you will always get what you deserve.
It’s like this ending is telling me to expect a new beginning.
Thank you. At least now, we can peacefully move forward without the what-ifs and what might have been. Finally. Case closed. I GOT MY CLOSURE (again, but now from him). Suddenly, I am grateful for goodbyes.
The next day, I saw his picture in passing, and for the first time in almost a year, I didn’t feel anything. My stomach didn’t drop. My heart didn’t race. And the tears didn’t come. I just woke up one day and realized that certain things don’t bother me anymore.
The process of healing ends when the wounds no longer ache.
I thought that was my last sign to move forward and start something beautiful — since there is *supposedly* a new guy in my life. Then again, false alarm (I’ll save that story for next time).
2019 has been such a challenging and emotionally heavy year for me. It may not be my best year, but I learned a lot from it. It also led me to meet myself again.
Everyone deserves a story that does not hurt.
I’m glad I was given an early Christmas gift in the most unexpected way.
Thank you Lord.
Merry Christmas everyone.
