To the One who Walked Away

 

I love you, but you walked away
So okay
I’ll be here healing
I’ll be here waiting
But not for you
Of course, not for you
I’ll be here waiting for the day
When I can genuinely say,
“Thank you for walking away”

I closed my journal as I finished reading the poem I wrote six years ago. It was a few weeks after you left. And honestly, reading it brought me back to the day you walked away from me without any warning— just as I told you that I loved you. 

Why would he do that? How can someone just walk away without a word? What’s wrong with me? Did I do anything wrong? 

Those were the questions that lingered in my head for two weeks. They might be all a blur now after all these years, but the memory of emptiness and longing for someone who never came back is still clear.

Thank God for my family and friends who stayed by my side.

They were right—  some people only stay with us for a season and a reason probably bigger than we imagine.

I hoped that we would be something more than a good memory, but I guess I was wrong.

You used to be my favorite part of the day. Heck, I think you even became the highlight of each day.

You became my world. 

My days seemed to revolve around you, for in your arms I found the happiness I thought I deserved. I did not notice I was losing myself slowly.

Yes. You used to be everything that I said and (maybe) more.

One day, I came to realize that you were not my world but just a small part of it.

I was only blinded by a feeling that I thought was true love, that I dimmed my fire.

I forgot that I am the sun of my universe.

Thank you, though, because if it weren’t for you, I think I would not have loved this much.

You taught me what real love is and what it is not. What I thought was love broke me, and it was real love that healed me. 

Love from my family, friends, God…

When someone brave enough finally showed up, I realized that I had to go through pain so I’d know how well I should be treated.

I know his story just like I knew yours.

Natakot siya noong una (rightfully so, because of his past), pero hindi siya nagpatinag.

He took the risk of falling in love and told me I was worth it— something that I wished you had done and realized.

I am not blaming you though. I am and will forever be grateful for the wonderful memories we shared.

You made me feel really special, especially during my 18th birthday. It was a good day; the days that followed, though, were not.

I’m glad that the day I can genuinely say, “Thank you for walking away”  has arrived.

I must admit, it took some time, but I’m here. So thank you…

Thank you for giving up your space because it is now filled by someone who truly matters. 

Wala mang tayo, never mang nagkaroon ng tayo, you were my first love. And though you aren’t my last, salamat. 

Salamat at nalaman kong kaya ko rin palang magmahal.