I typed it in, I don’t like it, I hit ctrl z to undo it. That is what computers do. It can undo things that you don’t like. I am human, I don’t have this feature. When I do something wrong, I cannot just hit CTRL Z and move on. I must take all the consequences, the pain, and the regrets.
I was in the stage of moving on when you came along. You don’t bring spark not even joy but you were always there… you were constantly there. You made me feel useful in times that I’m doubting myself. You lifted me up and you brought me back on track. We were inseparable. I had a firm decision then that never will I have feelings for you. Until one day I just woke up and found myself looking and longing for you. I did not plan it nor expect it to happen. God know how I wanted to hit CTRL Z but instead I kept on hitting CTRL S because I want to treasure every moment with you. I get jealous when you are with someone else, I get super happy when you are with me, I get tired when I don’t hear anything from you. It seems that my world revolve around you and I don’t like it. This is not who I am.
Lately, I’m getting tired of you. I am tired of chasing you, I’m tired of making you feel special, I’m of thinking about you being with someone not me. I wanted to hit CTRL Z and just go back to the moving on stage. But perhaps I am back to that stage but this time, moving on from you.
