I was supposed to write for my Future Husband, but I found it only fitting to write first to You – my first and true Love. Nothing compares to You.
You continued to love me like I was the most precious possession You had. I wouldn’t have believed that the one who knows me best could love me best, but then there was You. Nobody loves me like You!
While the Valentine’s Days I spent alone and the pitch black nights were hard (and harsh) to me, it’s becoming clearer that nothing and no one else could ever fill this God-sized void in my heart. You make me whole and so, above all, please let me express how grateful I am to You for everything. A futile attempt, but a humble heart You will not despise.
I grew up broken without ever knowing. We were well-provided for in the family, but we led empty lives – chasing over fleeting pleasure in the wrong things, hurting each other with words and (in)action, sharing thoughtful but only on the surface moments, and loving anything but You. I was living in sin and I didn’t bat an eye despite having a vague idea that it hurt you. There were more sins, unspeakable and dark, that brought this heart hardness. You know this full well.
You know this full well, Father, but You continued to love me like I was the most precious possession You had – something I never believed to be real about me.
You treated me with respect, not forcing anything until I was ready.
You gave up everything through the death of Jesus Christ while I was still your enemy. You even erase my sins through His blood, as I repent and accept your forgiveness – an undeserved favor justified by grace.
You gently assure me I am accepted despite hiding and running away.
You protect me from danger whilst unaware, and comfort me through sorrow and pain.
You did this and more for someone this broken , small, and seemingly irreparable. You know the brevity of my life in this Earth.
I wouldn’t have believed that the one who knows me best could love me best, but then there was You. Nobody loves me like You!
Father, how do you give me more chances despite the millions of times I fell? But I have nowhere else to go except You. And there is no one else I’d rather run to (with my ugliest cry) than You. Indeed, there were days I’d cry aloud and in anguish, but I’m learning to love this journey with You.
Let me get to the bahala-na-sila-basta’t-kasama-Kita part, where I’m so secured in our relationship that every worry just melts away, and is weaved with the truth of your strength that’s made perfect in my weakness; and that husband or no husband, I’ll be so filled I won’t even feel the unfilled spot on my bed.
Thank you for letting me be in Your presence. And while I continue to take this life offering (that could easily crawl out because of my own will) to Your altar I ask of this, Father –
Would You please let me get to the I’m-crazy-in-love-with-You part?
The leave-everything-for-you part,
The abandon-my-own-desires-to-honor-You,
Where I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing You, Christ Jesus my Lord.
Let me get to the for-better-or-worse-with-You part before I vow to another, in Your time,
for I will know then that You, not I, will be the One to sustain us.
Let me get to the bahala-na-sila-basta’t-kasama-Kita part,
Where I’m so secured in our relationship that every worry just melts away, and is weaved with the truth of your strength that’s made perfect in my weakness; and that husband or no husband, I’ll be so filled I won’t even feel the unfilled spot on my bed.
Let me get to the ‘even-if-God-doesn’t-He-is-still-faithful’ part,
That I may please you with the faith that You supply.
My Father, My Lord, Holy Spirit, I thank You that You are more than enough. And until we meet – oh what glorious day that will be! – keep us Your people in the palm of Your hands, under the cover of Your wings. And, Lord, help us be who You have made us to be.
