How do you unlove someone who taught you love?
I’ll start with that question.
My story is as ordinary as any breakup story you’ve ever heard or read somewhere. It started with a simple tweet, and then boom, we were madly, crazily in love with each other. She was my first girlfriend, and I was her first boyfriend. We did all our “first times” together. It was a fairytale at first, but as soon as she reached college and met a lot of people, our relationship started to become shaky.
Long-distance became a major problem. But I always made time for her every weekend. We went out on movie dates, lunch dates in fancy restaurants or even just at street food stalls. We went grocery shopping, visited museums, and did all those cute things couples do.
Little did I know that even with all my effort, time, passion, care, and love, it still wasn’t enough for her. I know I had my shortcomings and lapses too, but deep down, I know I gave it my all. After a year and eight months, she finally ended our relationship. Her reason? “She fell out of love.” I accepted that as a valid reason because it is a valid reason. I couldn’t force her to stay if she wanted to leave. What we had was real. It was genuine. It was love. We just weren’t meant for each other.
So, where does the trauma come in?
It was during my healing journey when I started having realizations. My friends began pointing out the toxic and abusive parts of our relationship. The cheating, and yes, it happened during my birthday. The manipulation and gaslighting that constantly made me feel like I was the bad guy. The way she acted like a spoiled princess who always had to get what she wanted. And how she used me because it was convenient for her.
She made me question my worth, my value as a person, as a partner.
It’s been more than a year now since we broke up, and I’m still moving on. Still healing. Every time I think of meeting someone new, I get this fear that they’ll do the same. That they’ll leave me someday, use me, manipulate me again. So, I refrain from meeting new people. I’ve been protecting my inner peace by learning to be happy on my own.
But to be honest, I want to forget her. Not out of hate or bitterness, just with no feelings left at all. No love, no pain, just indifference.
So, how do you unlove someone who taught you love?
