I Thought I Am Your Answered Prayer

I think almost every lady who has a good relationship with God is praying and patiently waiting for the second lover of their soul. But when I met him, I said to myself “the waiting is over”. He initiates the conversation and he was so consistent in communicating with me. Plus, he is so honest about his status in life and I admire that about him. I admire the way he continuously develop himself. I admire his positivity in the midst of negativity. And most of all, I admire that he is anchored to God. I admire his service to the Lord because little did he know that he inspires me to do the same especially, to walk by faith and not by sight (2 cor. 5:7). I can see that he is not after the benefits that he will get from his leaders but instead, he believes that God is already his greatest reward. It reminds me of (col.3:23:24). Furthermore, I admire the way he assures me that I can trust him, knowing that I am a lady who keeps everything in private; resulting on not trusting people. He earned my trust and next to Jesus he is my “Safe Person”. I tell him my challenges, insecurities, worries and fears, even the things I can’t tell to my father. I love his willingness to listen because I don’t have that, I am more of the one who do the talking. I love him the most when after listening to me, after being a good listener, he will become a great preacher #realquick #instantpreacher.

Honestly, I convey myself as a strong woman especially on tough situations; but deep inside I long for a man who will lead me. Hey man! I am grateful that you lead me. You remind me of (proverbs 19:20). Although this man is aware of my trust issues, I think he should not trust me a lot about his badboy side because I tell everything to my girl friends (hahahah). Aside from being my safe person, he is my sweetest stress. I hate the fact that he is so brave to save a stranger from harm without thinking that it could be his end. Yet, I will come to realize that if he can save a stranger then he can also protect me from danger. I hate him every time he tease me especially on my admirers and to the one who took me for granted. But I love the way he develops his jokes to kilig banats and suddenly I will become a best actress in a pretending role of not liking it. I like the way he try so hard to prove to me that he has abs, when in fact it’s not really abs but fats. I hate it when he manipulates his voice and call me using different number to play some childish prank call on me. But I love to hear his voice especially while playing his guitar. His singing voice can melt my heart SO MUCH! Although his playlist is consistent, I mean it never changed. I still love listening to his songs a lot. For almost 3 years I am confident that he is into me, that there’s something, even if I always make him feel like I am not interested. I am confident that he is just waiting for the right time to confess. I am confident that he admires me. And I am confident that I am his answered prayer. Until one night he played a new song. The lyrics speak so much of his emotions, those unspoken admiration. At last, he confessed. Now, I can’t put my pain into words when I finally realized that I’m not the subject of his song. I am not the one he’s waiting for.