I was here.
I am not wishing for good days like that. No, I wouldn’t want to see you looking into my eyes. Maybe by that time, fluttered as I might be, I will just look away as I smile a bit thinking of how heart-warming it is.
Darling, I bet that would never happen. Impossible as it is, I have no other choice but to let it go through my veins until my heart accepts the fact that you were there and I was here.
I would have written a thousand poems telling you why it’s way too cool to choose me over her but I wouldn’t. I could have sang a million songs saying why it’s better to be with me than to be with her yet I couldn’t. I am not fighting this battle with my bare hands, or with these words, or with these chords I have. No, I wouldn’t be fighting for you. Never would I do.
Hey. You mean a lot to me. And she means a lot to you. It’s a shame to say I’ve been writing tales and musings about you. Yet it’s more shameful to say, that you don’t care, not a little, do you?
Maybe you would at least see my worth when I’m gone or when it’s too late. That’s how movies go, right? But this isn’t a movie at all so I shouldn’t presume you would ever do it.
Where in the hell did I get the idea that you will somehow pick me over the almost-perfect girl you are with right now? I am weird — so weird that sometimes you get frustrated with how I respond to you. I am not beautiful. My eyes and nose and lips don’t match. I am not exactly what you want. I am not cool. I easily get anxious. I almost fear every situation. I don’t say things that make me cool. Or wear clothes that make me cute. I am plain — so plain — plain as I used to be. I am not smart. You know I make decisions that sometimes make me stumble and I have to deal with the results carefully so as not to stumble again. I’m clumsy and careless as I can be and I know that wouldn’t impress you anyway. I am a by-product of past mistakes. But that what makes me real different.
Different isn’t something that catches your attention. And so still, we’re stuck in this old, cruel facade I wanna run away from.
Darling, just let me take this — slowly — until it burst into my veins and my arteries. You were there. And I was here.
