In This Lifetime, I Loved Submitting to Capitalism So That I Could Pay Taxes and Do Groceries With You
To pay the unlawful amount of taxes only to fill the pockets of corruption and fulfill the long lists of inflated rates of groceries are the tragic slavery we incorporate ourselves with.
Mundane yet romanticized; it shows how the average life is far greater, more satisfactory, and more peaceful than a life of bitter farewells and bloodsheds.
So, no matter how frowned upon, this economy is not my enemy—it’s my sanctuary; if it meant having to do it with you; Rather than a heroic, action-packed story in an alternate universe—filled with the misery and the crippling void your silhouette left in the crevices of my heart.
It’s easy to miss the importance of something that has been too familiar with you.
When I wrote the last chapter of my second story, I didn’t know I was writing my own. I didn’t know my subconscious thoughts were about to rise in reality.
I didn’t know my love for solitude would trap me into being alone, almost likely, forever.
I didn’t know the pride I boast of; would lure me to loneliness just because I refuse to let my guard down.
I didn’t know my flaws would get ahead of me and take over the wheel. Now I’m just someone who always push people away. Now I’m nothing but my flaws, like a grumpy old man left to rot in their deathbed.
In life, nothing is enough. You don’t have to be the best—but you need to have a little bit of everything; a little bit of cowardice to keep you safe, a little bit of courage to keep you going, a little bit of cruelty to establish your stance, and a little bit of comfort to soften the horrors of the heart.
You need to see the good in the bad, and the bad in the good. You need to see the humanness in each people that you meet. You need to understand that we are all a sum of our mistakes, accomplishments, regrets, and realizations. So please understand them more, and don’t be too harsh on yourself. We all have no idea how to live, it is all our first time to do it. There are times that the torments can be unbearable and drive us into committing things we’ll soon be ashamed of doing after—but that doesn’t diminish the great stuff we did when life didn’t threw its lemons yet. There are times that we knew how to perfectly make the world go round, and carrying its weight on our shoulders felt like a piece of cake—but that doesn’t justify the hurt we’ve caused people when the case was awry.
That’s life’s challenge. You need to learn how to balance the good & the bad and make everything in perfect order. But the twist is that you have a vertigo, and you’re juggling all these in a surfboard, crashing the waves of the Pacific Ocean.
