Stay. That was what I wanted to say. Sometimes I wondered what you were thinking that day. Leaving like that while looking numb. I guess I was too dumb. I never saw it coming. All I know was, all I felt for you was pure. Even if loving you feels like torture. I took all the blame, though even if it made me look so lame. I had many mistakes that I cannot bring back. What do I lack? It is something that I cannot track.
I began to wonder, can loving also mean leaving? Or is it an excuse to say that there was no love at all; that’s why someone has to leave? I heard people say, “I’ll be back when I’m better” or ” I’ll never be back because you’re better off without me.” But I started to think again, what was your reason then?
Feelings fade, but love remains. Looking back, it became clear to me that love is a decision and not just an emotion. Loving someone is a constant decision to stay, even if things are not going their way. It is all about acceptance, even if it requires sacrificing one’s significance. I admit, I was too naive back then. I pushed you to stay and hope these arguments would suddenly fade away. It was all a tragedy, but now we are in perfect harmony. Maybe love was not meant for us to stay. Maybe it’s God’s way of saying, “Things should go My way.” Maybe you had to leave because you’re not the one for me. Maybe the “love” that we felt back then was childish and selfish. And through you I have confirmed, loving can’t go with leaving.
