I should have blocked you long time ago, but I didn’t.
Sometime in 2017, I met you. I was really in a bad shape, moving on from a previous 7-year relationship and then you came. I was so glad to have found a new friend in you. A person who listened to all my stories, appreciated my existence as well, and became partner in crimes. I never knew this would change my life. I didn’t know…. I became your “other” half. With another half…
Eventually, our relationship became as it was expected to be. I turned to be toxic to my friends. Asking for their time wasted until the wee hours of weekdays knowing there’s work the following day. Exhausted their livers more than its capacity just to be with me and listen to my chronic problems for the shit I got into. Because you are a great manipulator. Used me. Made me your option. I let you think that I’m just there to be with you, cause then I love you.
Then you came back. Asking for a drink with me later that night. Presumably, asking for help. So I knew. There you are, cheated again on your current girlfriend (which by the way you chose over me) with another girl with a kid and a live-in partner. Received threats from the guy. I couldn’t accept this—- I was expecting you to be better, without me, coz that you ought to be. I didn’t see it coming, that you are expecting me, to MAKE YOU BETTER, FIX YOUR SHIT, and JUST BE THERE. All on your convenience. I AM NOT YOUR CONSTRUCTION WORKER. I am done. All the things I said, frankly and jokingly though, I meant wholly of it. You deserve to be slapped on the face with words you don’t hear from the people around you. Afraid of truth. Afraid to be called slut, liar, narcissist, manipulator, toxic, and the list could go on. The truth of what you really are. Babe, prayers won’t change what you’ve done, then lessen your guilt so you can make new mistakes.
In all honesty, here I am still willing to help you get through it, well, at least for the case and what to do. But that’s all I can do for you. I cannot fix someone who ruins his life every single time. Don’t misunderstand what I’m doing for you. Coz really, thank you for leaving me. My heart is fulfilled and contented. I wish you and your new girl, with a no-label relationship again, the best of all. Let me watch karma on its full glorious splendor.
I’m ridiculed by myself right now, Am I just kind or am I that stupid? I know I am both.
