Nagooverthink lang ba ako o may meaning na?

I don’t know where to start. Let’s just say we are now in a relationship for 3 years since pandemic and we are having a good run. However, this year, mas napapadalas ang away dahil mag iinternship na siya somewhere far from his home. While I am also taking my internship far from my home. Meaning LDR kami. Then, I got naggy and always worried if ano ginagawa niya, ano ang maiinfluence sa kanya ng new world niya, ano ang magiging epekto sa relationship and future namin to the point where we broke up na hindi pa naguumpisa ang internship namin dahil hindi ako makakalma if hindi sya nagrereply, knowing na this is an alien situation to me since everyday kami magkausap. But we reconciled and now, I feel like wala naman akong ambag na sa life niya. Alam niyo yun? Yung okay lang nandiyan, okay lang din wala. Ganun na yung nararamdaman ko. And I cannot risk opening up what I feel again because it would jeopardize our relationship. It would make him feel I am nagging. Kaso, one time, I asked if pwede ko ba siyang puntahan (one plane ride) kumbaga roundtrip lang para makita siya but he told me that hassle sa part niya kasi hindi pa fully clear ang schedule ng internship niya. Gusto ko lang malaman, kung dapat ko bang intindihin or is this a sign na hindi na ganun talaga ka importante ang presence ko and I am just simply an irritant sa buhay niya. Ewan. Di ko rin alam ang pinagsasabi ko. Gusto ko lang malabas yung nararamdaman ko. Naiintindihan ko naman na med related student siya so his internship needs more understanding from his partner pero yung hassle sa part niya kasi pupunta ako? Hindi ko maintindihan. Paintindi niyo naman oh.

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