Is it wrong not to entertain others while waiting for you?
Waiting to know who you’ll be going to pursue.
Waiting to know whose someone you’re praying for.
Waiting to whose heart God designed yours.
Is it me? There will be us? By chance, are you going to tell me that God also designs you to love me?
Oh, how sweet to eat a mango when it’s already ripe.
Oh, how beautiful the flowers bloom in its right season.
Oh, how awesome the sun shines in the morning and how it sets at dawn.
Oh, how amazing a baby learn to walk when the bones are already strong.
Oh, how wonderful God answers prayers even for so long.
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven. – Ecclesiastes 3:1
I’m not troubled to wait for you. I’m happy trusting our Lord. I’m excited to know His plan for mine and yours.
Back then, I was so terrified of losing you. I cried every time I think of what-ifs.
What if I’m not the one meant for you.
What if you will love someone else.
What if I’ll saw you being happy with another woman?
Those thoughts and nonsense events in my mind broke me every night. I almost question my worth and think of how invaluable I am.
Thankfully, I choose to prioritize my spiritual growth. I grow in the Lord. As I know Him more, as I obey Him more, and as I serve Him more, I realized how I rejected my Savior.
God calls me His beloved
God pursued me
God first loved me
God has blessed me
God gave everything I need. Enough to live and to enjoy giving Him glory. He knows my name, my everything. He rescued me from the valley of death. He endures the cross for me for us.
The reason that I’ve realized why I became so obsessed with you? My First Love is knocking in my heart, and as I open it, I receive peace. I learned the beauty and meaningful life in His presence.
It’s not easy to change. My heart breaks when I begin to pray. “LORD, if he’s not the one you meant for me, please help me to remove this feeling,” I remember that good cry at one night talking to God about this and listening to Him in His word. But you know what? I have a smile when I wake up in the morning because I trust God. His plan, not mine.
For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. – Jeremiah 29:11
Let’s grow individually in the Lord first. I’m enjoying a life being alone in a coffee shop, doing the grocery, watching a movie, and eating all the food I cook. Hoping that someday, if God permits, we’ll share these.
For now, my heart reserves for you. We both have good memories together. Those laughs and moments are grace-filled. I’m so thankful to God that He allows those to happen.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. – Proverbs 3:5-6
I’ll wait until God reveals His plan.
