Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.


For 7 years I had been single, I dedicated all these years in strengthening my relationship with God. It wasn’t an easy road to take. In a society that treats romantic relationship as the ultimate basis of contentment and fullness of life, I would lie if I would tell that it didn’t affect me in the slightest sense. It did. Many times.

When I was 21, I remembered writing all the qualities of the man I wanted to marry. People around me actually commenting how high my standard is. Telling me that I should be more realistic and stop hoping for a fairy tale-like romance. They also wanted to drag me to the belief that surely I would end up alone. Worst, there are also some who were questioning my own worth to demand for such a man with high standard.

Suddenly, I began to question my own worth. And started to reason that perhaps, they are true. No one is perfect, thus, I should stop demanding high standard from my future husband. So from then on, I entertain guys regardless of their moral convictions.

Then I engaged in a relationship with a non-Christian guy. Quiet and simple guy. I showed him kindness, care, tolerance, quick forgiveness, love, and understanding.
I thought these were enough for a man to choose you over and over again, but no. Perhaps, he got tired and could no longer keep up with the standard he has put upon himself. He knows that having me as girlfriend means he has to fix himself. It means giving up a lot of things. It means striving to be the best version of himself. He once said that maybe I was too good for him and soon I would just leave him for another man, afterall, according to him I am pretty,smart, and kind enough. But it turned out the other way around.

I never thought that you could get rejected for trying to be the best version of yourself. For being pretty, smart and kind. Many times, people were left for being miserable but little we know about the pain of being rejected of being too much for someone.

I cried to God and asked Him why he allowed this to happen. He could have warned me earlier so I didn’t have to feel this pain again after 7 years. I felt extremely broken not because a boy rejected me but because I remember the times I asked God for guidance when it comes to this matter. I remember all the years of healing and fixing I underwent to improve myself and prepare myself in entering a relationship once again. I had prayed for it many nights. How could it become wrong? Maybe I wasn’t really pretty enough, kind enough, and smart enough. Or should I say I wasn’t really enough at all. I began losing my self-esteem once again. Then God told me that this was a different kind of pain. A pain of triumph and overcoming. And there is no need to mourn over it for it is the price to pay for being associated with Christ.

To all ladies who love Jesus and got rejected by a boy, remember these words:
•You were not rejected because you aren’t enough, you were rejected because he didn’t have the capacity to reflect the love of Jesus you had shown to him and he’s too weak to accept that overwhelming pure love.

•You were rejected because unlike his other ex-girlfriends, you were the only one he couldn’t bring to bed. You are too precious to him that he couldn’t bring himself to even disrespect you and he couldn’t handle that kind of woman.

•When he can’t manipulate you to do what he likes, he will reject you.

•You were rejected because you speak wisdom and he hated to be corrected.

•You were rejected because you’re a woman of value and his insecurity couldn’t handle a woman with such intelligence and integrity. He only likes women who compromise with his own desires.

•Your kindness and compassion to other people bore him. He delights in promiscuousness.

•You were rejected because he couldn’t take your love for Jesus seriously. He thinks you are weird to devote yourself in serving God.

•He knows deep in his heart that you are worthy while he’s still in the cycle of his old life. He couldn’t take a woman who seems higher than him. He is imprisoned in his own insecurities.

•And lastly, you were rejected because you are a Christian and he’s not. Your thoughts are not his thoughts and your ways are not his ways. You’re of Christ and he’s of the world. Unless, you start to think and act like the world, the two of you couldn’t live in harmony.

I know many of you are already feeling weary and about to give up. Don’t.
I beg you not to lower your standard ever again. I learned this the hard way. And now, I feel that I already have the authority to preach this to you, young girls, since I already experienced this.

Being in a relationship with an unbeliever is tiring. So tiring. A man without Jesus is so broken. And a broken man can’t love you unconditionally, he will only cause you pain and constant headaches because his life is disoriented.

Your plans would never meet. You prioritize God while he prioritizes different things. Not mentioning that your conversation is always boring and dry. No depth. No value. It might be fun but not edifying to your soul. Soon, you will long for that spiritual connection and you will feel unsatisfied with the relationship unless you compromise.

He can’t even inspire you to achieve greater things. He will always stay mediocre in thoughts and deeds. In other words, hihilain ka lang nya pababa. You are made to do great things for the Lord.

Now, when I look back to the day he broke up with me, I praised the Lord.
Later, I just found out he had slept with some girl. Now it is clear why God allowed me to experience this. God works in ways we don’t understand. It might cause us pain but at the end it is well for our soul and it makes us wiser.

Pray for a godly man. Not just a Christian guy.
Pray for a man whose heart is like yours.
Pray for a man that has a similar vision with you so that when you marry each other it will strengthen your calling and ministry because you think as ONE and act as ONE.
Pray for a man who possesses the same courage as yours to do things for the Lord.

Dont just wait in vain. Wait in the Lord. Devote yourself in service. Soak in His spirit. Study His word day and night.

P.s Marriage is just one of the gifts from God and not the sum of life, Christlikeness is the goal.

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