Hey. You might have heard from your friends, or my friends, the struggles I am facing. I think they don’t mean to bother you with that but in case that it did, you don’t need to come running back.
It’s true… I am currently at loss. I’m tired of thinking, in between our sweet old days and those last cold stares of yours, what was I to you to begin with? Those sweet little things that you once said and showed kept on telling me I was once a person you were fond of. But maybe, that line between fondness and love was just too fine, so fine I forgot to draw the lines for my own expectations.
Heaven knows how torn I am between wanting you to confront me and wanting you to go away. How badly I wish for you to answer my questions: what went wrong.. what happened… and what were we in all those times.. But why does it terrify me more to know your answers?
But you don’t have to worry. You don’t need to text me and ask what is going on. You don’t need to lend me a shoulder just like what you did before. Because I know that no matter how much it hurts, I would still probably tell you I’m okay.
I still need some time to get used to unseen messages and short replies, to early bedtimes, to no Good mornings and g’nights. I know, now, that I am not in the right place to demand such things but let me ask for this instead – No matter what others tell you.. even when you see me somewhere out there without my usual gleeful smile.. please, don’t get me hyped. Don’t drop hints for me to get my hopes high once again. I’ll deal with these feelings that you don’t seem to understand. So go on. Walk away and please, don’t look back.
