I really wanted to burst into tears upon hearing Ben & Ben’s ‘Lifetime’ so I decided to express how I feel and how I remember you thru this song.
Was there a lifetime waiting for us in a world where I was yours?
It’s kinda hard to accept that there is no way in this world that you would see me the way I see you. Obvious naman, Kuya. Minahal talaga kita. Naging gaga talaga ako pagdating sa’yo. I broke my own rules and stands when I met and fell in love with you.
Oo na, tanggap ko na rin naman na malabong maging tayo. Pero pwede ko bang hilingin sa universe na baka naman sa ibang oras, sa ibang mundo at ibang pagkakataon… you would feel the same way too?
Ang gaga, diba?
Was it the wrong time, what if we tried, giving in a little more to the warmth we had before?
Wrong timing ba? Mali ba ‘yung oras na kasama kita? Hindi ba tama ‘yung naramdaman ko para sa’yo? Mali ba pakiramdam ko safe and secured ako? Is the timing wrong? Is it wrong to meet someone who fully understands me? who makes me happy? Is it wrong that I see the goodness in you, and accepts you despite all the demons and darkness you have inside?
What if we tried? What if we took a risk? What if you didn’t have to leave me hanging? Why do you have to make me feel all the warmth, the care you had for me if in the first place, the only thing you can give to me is friendship? Demanding ba ako? Bakit kasi? Hindi ko maintindihan bakit kailangan mong iparamdam sa akin na gusto mo rin ako, pero sa huli, ni ha, ni ho, wala.
Ang gaga ko naman.
I’d spend a lifetime waiting in vain just to go back to the way we had before
But you know what? Despite of the painful fact that we can’t be together the way I wanted, I still want to be with you kahit friends lang, kahit sa paraan lang kung ano tayo dati, basta makasama at makausap lang kita ulit. Hanggang sa masanay at matanggap ko na… oo, hindi talaga tayo pwede, na oo, sige, payag na ako na friends lang talaga tayo. Hindi na ako aasa at hindi na rin ako maghahangad pa more than that.
Is there a lifetime waiting for us? All this time I have been yours…
All this time… I care for you.
All this time… I believe in you.
All this time… I am proud of you.
All this time… I support you.
All this time… I am willing to take risks for you.
All this time… kaibigan lang ang tingin mo sa akin.
Pero all this time, mahal kita sa kabila ng lahat ng rason para hindi ka mahalin, mahal kita. Sa kabila ng lahat ng pwede kong yakaping dahilan para kalimutan ka, mahal pa rin kita.
Maybe this time isn’t for us, maybe, I’ll just learn how to unlove and forget you. And maybe, I can finally accept that it is me that can make you happy, we were just a passer-by, maybe our paths just needed to cross for lessons, or maybe this brokenness I’ve got from my love for you will lead me to the person God has designed for me… or maybe, what we had, what I felt… maybe I needed all of this to remember that I shouldn’t be asking for anyone’s validation and love to satisfy my heart because it’s freaking tiring to prove yourself to other people na you are worthy of their love, na kamahal-mahal ka.
It has been a wonderful journey to love you from a far. It was painful yet it made me happy.
I hope I will not love you this way anymore, I know I’ll forget you sooner.
Oo na, gaga na ako. Pero wala eh, hindi ko naman kayang ipagkait sa sarili ko ang pakiramdam na magmahal at kasama na rin doon ang masaktan.
Is there a lifetime waiting for us?
Soon, makakalaya rin ako sa pagmamahal ko sa’yo.
