Maybe it is the chance to give myself the time I am always trying to give out to someone else, the time I am always making up for people I thought was worth it, the time I had to sacrifice for people I thought would do the same in return. Maybe it is my turn to think of my own happiness, needs, and wants. Maybe it is now the time to chase my dreams and goals in life.
Yes, I know that I became too hard on myself. I know that I have been off the track and I feel that I am on the edge of losing my purpose. But as I walked through, something hit me, something knocked in my heart and it awakened my mind, something that will pull me back to the reality — the truth.
The truth spoke to me through wasted time. I had to accept that I cannot bring back what has been lost no matter how much I try to. I want to go back and change the course of my choices, my actions, and my decisions but time has been lost and it is something I cannot hold on to. I want to go back to those times that I spent on the wrong people, wrong things and spend it differently… wisely.
The truth spoke to me through wasted efforts. There’s this saying that we can only do so much, and yes it is true. We can only care so much, but sometimes so much is not enough. No matter how much you put your heart and yourself in, not all people will thank you, not all will appreciate you.
The truth spoke to me through wasted emotions. I am trying to pour out my genuineness to everyone. I am trying to let them feel that I truly care, that I mean what I say and do. I am trying to let them feel that they are not alone, that they have someone to hold onto when the world weighs so heavy on their shoulders. I am trying to make them feel that I am here to listen, I am here to hear everything that their heart wants to talk about. I am trying to make them realize that I am here but their walls are built so high up that they are not able to hear and see me.
So, this time the truth spoke and told me that it is my turn now to hear and see my own self. It is time to work for my own happiness. It is time to walk away from people who don’t value the genuine things that I am trying to give away.
At the end of the day I know it is not my loss, it’s theirs. They unknowingly lost someone who wouldn’t want to give up on them; who would have stayed no matter how hard it is.
