People are asking on how I stayed single for 7 years. Yes! 7 years, some can’t just believe it and I don’t understand why. But trust me, it was definitely a ride. For the first few years, I was so scared. I built a wall that I didn’t even let someone to touch that. I was happy! Then friends started having their boyfriends, colleagues were getting married and some were even getting pregnant.
There’s that something in me that I felt like I wanted to have someone. So people asked me, “BAKIT DI MO SUBUKAN?” I listened, so I tried. I started accepting friend requests, replying to messages and saying yes to guys who would ask me out, on a thought of their pure intention.
For reasons, I didn’t experience this butterflies, spark and whatever romantic feeling they are saying. So, I stayed single. Then – I met this guy through a friend. He was so cool, funny and has a good heart. He’s tall, knows how to dress up, knows how to play a guitar, and plays well on basketball. He is my ideal guy.
So I told myself, “Okay, I’m ready”. We started going out, he did all the things that will make you believe in love again. Sweetness, Surprises and unbelievable efforts. You have a stone heart if you will not be moved by all the things that he did. And so, he broke the wall I built for years, and when he knew that he did, HE LEFT saying that “YOU KNOW THAT I LOVE YOU, BUT I LOVE HER MORE” then again he left me hanging.
I started praying. After a year, another guy knocked on my heart. I met him in the church. I was like, “Thank you Lord for giving me a man of God”! We started going out, he met my family and friends then HE LEFT saying, “I’M NOT YET READY FOR LOVE”.
How can someone say that they’re not ready when in the first place you never asked them to come into your life? I just realized that your ideal guy is not always the one for you. Even you met the guy in the church, it doesn’t mean that he’s into you and he’ll stay. The guys I dated, they came and left.
After all those sleepless nights, there were what ifs. What have I done wrong to deserve those unworthy heartaches? You will realize, if a guy wants to stay, he will stay. And if he won’t, you can’t have him, worse, you can never force him. So, let him go.
Whatever happened, I know I needed them to become what I am right now.
I’m just so tired of finding the guy I want to spend my life with, I’m at the point of my life that I just wanted to shut them all off. MAYBE I SHOULD STOP LOOKING FOR A GUY AND PATIENTLY WAIT FOR A MAN. Now, I’m starting to build that wall again, a wall that is strong and high enough not to be broken by sweet gestures and fake effort. This time, I will let love find me. And if it happens again, it will be magnificent. I will pour all the love that I have in my heart to someone who truly deserves it. I WILL WAIT – No matter how long it will take, I WILL PRAY – For the right one to find me. AND I WILL OBEY – Whatever God will say! ❤️