Today, I Call the Shots

They say, “life is complicated” and “change is inevitable. If things were complicated, then uncomplicate it. Easier said than done right? If change is inevitable as it is, then learn to adapt and embrace all the changes. At this point, life is teaching me life in a hard way. I never learn. I let things go out of hand and i find myself stuck. Life fucks me so hard and it gets nasty most of the time. The more i overthink things the more it gets the hold of me. Maybe because i let things be like that. So now i was thinking, how can i get myself free? Free from all the people’s craps around me. Free from all the pressure and stress building up inside of me. Free from all the life’s drama and expectations. Free from always thinking what people say. Those mentioned doesn’t do me any good anyway. In this democratic country where i live in, i have all the rights. My top of the list would definitely be FREE. LET GO AND EXHALE ALL THE BULLSHITS ive been carrying since the first day i felt it.
I will let go of the people who supposed to bring me happiness but instead put me in the state of depression and anxiety. I will let go all of the indecent thoughts that would brings out the monster in me. I will let go of the bad habits i learned from different people ive met. I will try let go all the negativities that surrounded me.
This is not a promise. Promise will lead you to expectations then turns out to be your biggest dissapoint. Followed by low self-esteem and feelings that you may think yourself as a failure. For now, my reality is shady. No plans and indefinite. I don’t know if all this will work out for me or maybe im just blinded by my feelings right now. But what i do know is I AM BADLY NEEDED this. LET GO, be happy and carefree as possible.
No if’s no but’s just LOVE -for myself.
Because, I LOVE ME MORE.