I moved on. It was a bit ironic to move away from a certain area where he never even asked me to stay. I moved on because I had no choice but to admit and accept that he was nothing but just another man who only wanted to remain on the surface.
There were times he tried to relight old fires, tried to start new chances but my heart was way too swollen to give us another shot of try. Maybe the moment that I understood that it was me who put myself in the position of expecting love in return was the reason why I never wanted to take the risk again and so I let myself let him go.
I tried to slowly unload the heavy emotional baggage that I had within me although I must admit that there’s no easy way of doing that. I must be honest that they still hold my fears and reasons to give love a second chance. It somehow drew restricted lines for me to shut everyone out and to remind myself that if they really wanted to be a part of me, they will find a way no matter how unwelcoming I sounded like.
I built my walls and over time, I build it higher and higher with more sturdy bricks of disheartening the ones who had no good intentions.
I build my walls hoping I could push love away but I guess, it was just me — wanting to push the world away from me.
