Sometimes we have come to realise that not all prayers are yes but some are no and wait…
I told him I will save my tears for another shot of pens so I think it will made me feel good if I’ll turn it into words..
For the last time allow me to express myself for proper closure. Honestly this was been the first time that I almost fall for it. I guarded and protected my heart for the longest time but I almost destroy it for someone I thought was God-sent.
It was almost perfect that I get easily swayed by your words of wisdom. I was amazed how you project your faith, your principles and convictions. I was wondering at first if this must be true, but along the way I realise all this time I was just dreaming from a false hope and just waked up one day I’m having that broken heart again that I saved and reserved for years not to be touch by someone. But then you came I let it open once again I give myself a chance I allow you to enter in because you made me believe that it will be safe. You made me feel that I can trust you. But it was just a feeling after all.
You lead me in the idea of having a picture perfect family of faith in the future. I almost vision it out that it could be you. All this time I was thinking how can this man be so perfect and so sure of what he was saying and what he do when he was just so excited to start a relationship but not actually really prepared to take a risk of what’s coming.
I almost fall for it because you made me feel that you were the right one. You made me feel that this was all real and serious. I almost fall for it because I was at almost starting to love everything about you. I almost fall for it because we have that mutual feeling.
We we’re both so passionate of seeking answers we even prayed and fast for it but the truth is we we’re just both too scared to end up with the wrong person and here we are facing our beautiful chaos and saving grace.
God really looks at the heart and our intentions. God was just so unpredictable he let us fall to trap into something almost perfect but not ideally perfectly the best for the both for us.
It’s really hard to submit and say yes to God but I believe it can never go wrong until he promised he will. Sometimes we don’t understand his ways but He was actually directing us into something better. I can still say there’s still beauty in endings. That we can finally say thank you Lord for breaking us. We made the right choice to follow.
I didn’t write this to made you feel bad and guilty because I believe it was meant to happen for the both of us.
I too have shortcomings to be an almost the right one as well. Though I don’t want to end this almost perfect encounter but we need to accept that we just met for a reason but not in the right season. We could have been the right one for each other but we get to know each other too early at the wrong time and at the wrong phase.
You were too afraid and unaware of what’s coming and I was so desperate about my own healing. Now we see purpose why it has to end to an almost.
We don’t have to apologize for the things that we did right before God we seek for his will and then he answered us with comforting truth that were not both ready. Sometimes it may happen that we seem so sure that we could be the right one, but God has his own ways to make us realize that what we are thinking is not according to what he has plan… I almost fall for it but God protected us from each other. God saved us.
Your, Almost.
