Sisimulan ko ‘to nang punong puno ng pangungulila sa’yo.
Unang una sa lahat miss na miss na kita. Hindi naman kita dapat ma-miss, ‘diba? But despite of all the reasons why I shouldn’t miss you, I still do.
It’s funny and painful at the same time how I easily felt so comfortable every time na kasama kita, all the kwentuhans we had, the late-night coffee bonding, random calls and texts, and all those little things. You are someone I didn’t expect to come in my life kaya I wasn’t prepared. One of my mantras in life is to “guard your heart” but when you came, I was caught off guard.
I wanted to say sorry kasi we both agreed naman na we’re just friends and whatever we have is just purely platonic.
I really appreciate when you once told me na “hanggang friends lang tayo, ‘wag dapat tayo ma-fall sa isa’t isa, baka masaktan kasi kita.” I felt your concern. You told me na importante at special ako sa’yo but not in a romantic way.
Pero kahit sinabi mo na ‘yun, lahat ng kind and sweet gestures mo towards me, binibigyan ko padin ng meaning, kinikilig padin ako deep inside. Siguro umasa lang talaga ako.
Maybe I shouldn’t have let my guard down.
Maybe I wouldn’t long this much if I built my walls a little bit higher.
Maybe if I didn’t let myself see you as an amazing person, I wouldn’t fall.
Sobrang amazing mong tao. Sobrang dami mo namang flaws but I see you in a way you wouldn’t imagine someone would see you. I love how you make me laugh, how you outsmart me, how you can be brutally honest with me and comforts me right after. I simply love everything.
And I miss those.
Madalas kapag late na ako umuuwi from work, I always think of you, na sana if you’re here, hindi ako mahihirapan pauwi because you will drive me home at may take out pang kape, at kwento, at mga ngiti mo.
Miss na miss ko na.
Miss na miss na kita.
Pinipigilan ko naman. Hindi na nga tayo nagkikita pero ikaw padin ang gusto ko palaging kasama. Madalang na din tayo mag-usap pero sa bawat tunog ng phone ko, umaasa ako na it’s you.
I’m really sorry for falling. I didn’t mean to fall naman. I just really can’t resist you and I always want to be with you.
Gustong gusto kong sabihin lahat sa’yo but our friendship is holding me back. I don’t want to totally lose you.
That’s is why, I will be staying right here. Watching you reach your dreams with someone who makes you happy. I will treasure every moment we’ve shared. I will be forever grateful for that.
Pero tatapusin ko na. It’s hard, but I will choose to stop falling for you more. Siguro miss pa kita ngayon, pero malay mo bukas, hindi na at kaya ko nang tanggapin na kaibigan lang talaga kita.
Magtatapos ako dito, dala-dala ko padin ang pangungulila ko sa’yo… pero umaasa ako na bukas, wala na ‘to.
