Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

As a semi-conservative tita who came from a long-term relationship, it was scary to get myself out there and meet people. I’ve heard a lot of stories about hooking up, casual relationships and online dating from friends who are single, and it has made me realized how dating has changed for the past eight years. Gone are the days when you only date guys who are within your social circle, since there are several platforms which allow you to meet new people. I was initially cynical about online dating, since I’ve watched a number of shows where people get scammed by the people they meet online. Out of curiosity, I decided to give it a try, because I know there’s nothing to lose.

Meeting people online has also taught me a lot about myself, and has helped me practiced talking to different kinds of men. My day job requires a lot of interaction with people, but dating is a completely different story. I have always been a believer of taking a proactive approach when it comes to love and relationships, and meeting people who are worth your time will help you figure out what you want in a relationship. It will help you become more grounded if your standards are realistic, or close to non-existent.

Using an online dating app gives you a lot of options, which can either work for you or against you. With the myriad of options that we have, it is easy to ditch people just because he/she did not meet one of our criteria. Since people cannot go out to make friends or network, dating apps have been helpful but it has somehow commodified people. If things do not work out with someone, we can easily activate our profile in the app, and start swiping again. It becomes an endless cycle of beginning and ending pseudo-relationships, which becomes emotionally and mentally draining.

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With people becoming like material things that can easily be discarded, dating becomes more difficult and complicated. There’s a mentality of winning and losing, when in fact, relationships should be based on honesty and transparency. Both parties do not want to invest fully in fear of getting hurt, and if things are not getting anywhere, ghosting becomes an option.

I’ve also known a lot of success stories from online dating, and there are a lot of good people out there who are also trying their luck in dating apps. I don’t have anything against dating apps, and I’d use it again when the time comes. Personally, it’s a matter of being careful with your choices, sticking to your standards and guarding your heart. It doesn’t matter if you met through a common friend, a dating app or at work, because at the end of the day, what makes a relationship work is the effort of both parties involved.

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