It has been a week since our last conversation
I haven’t been able to talk to you and even if I want to, I prefer to not
It’s really hard for me to do it, especially if you’re the one that I think every single day
But I’m teaching myself to not let my feelings for you, consume me in any way possible
It’s because somehow the effect on me is depressing,
and it’s funny because every time I think of you
my head will start to show every event that are way out of reality,
just like Dr. Strange did.
That’s why I’m focusing on myself, focusing on my own growth.
I’ve already prayed to God about my journey of courting you
and I rest everything to his hand
Though, I worry that my actions would mean that I’m being inconsistent which is I’m not,
I’m only giving you the space you need in order for you to see things through
and make your decisions carefully.
I know that you’ve been in a relationship that lets you question your worth
and makes you put up walls that are way too hard to break,
but It doesn’t matter, it only shows how those things have taught you.
I don’t even take it against you, though, sometimes I question myself
if I’m good enough for you or if you like me too
So far, I was able to manage the first week, thanks to those “several things”
That took my attention.
Slowly, I will learn to not look for you just for the sole purpose of happiness,
rather, I will look for you because both of us seek each other’s presence, love and attention,
and until that day comes, I hope you are ready to commit.
I Just want to let you know that I’m not going anywhere or away from you,
I will just be at the backseat praying for your safety and wellness while you take your time,
just like what I’ve told you when I asked you if I can court you,
I told you that “I will wait for you no matter what, and the only way that I will stop is when you said so”.
I really missed you so much, so much that I couldn’t think of any words that could relay it
But if I would be given a chance, I’d rather hug you so tight while I whisper to your ears
Saying “I’ve been waiting for you Lo La”.