Me to my almost,
“Hindi ka talo. Hindi ka mahina. Hindi ka malungkot.
Kasi yung tunay na talo, nag stop na. Eh ikaw ? Nung ilang beses ba ginawa ni God na mahirapan ka nag stop kana ? Hindi. You went on. At dun palang nakakapa proud na yun. See ? Kung di mo nagawa yun, lahat ba kami na nasa buhay mo ngayon nandito ? Baka wala kung dun palang itinigil mo na. Sumuko kana. Kung nagpadala kana.
Hindi ka rin mahina. Kasi kung mahina ka, baka wala ka sa kung nasan ka ngayon. It takes great choices and big mistakes plus sacrifices just to step forward sa buhay.
And where you are right now ? Hindi pa permanent yan. And I’m proud kasi kahit na anong sabihin mong mahina ka, na hindi mo kaya. You chose to battle. Head to head. Pinili mo pa ring labanan. At naniniwala ako sayo.
At sa lahaaaat lahaaaaaat hindi ikaw ang malungkot. Kasi deep inside overflowing yung happiness mo. Sadyang nasa sitwasyon na yung happiness na yun natatakpan pa.
Try to overcome this one, A.
Baka dun na. Dun mo makikita yung happiness mo.
At kahit mahirap. Kung kailangan mo ng kausap. Ng shoulder to lean on. Naandito ako. Come at me anytime. I can free my time para sayo. Kung hindi man biglang special na tao. As a friend. Helping hand.
If this goes bad. Come at me. Macocontact mo ko. Nandito ako. And if this goes well. Alam mo na yung sagot ko. Naandito pa rin ako. Hindi na para yung magiyakan tayo ng sakit. Baka tears of joy.”
My almost’s reply,
“Thankyou dyan. Babasahin ko ng paulit ulit lahat yan. Pag nalulungkot ako. Siguro binigay ka saken ni God dahil dito. Siguro yan yung isa sa mga role mo sa buhay ko.”
“There is always that one person who will always have your heart. You’ll never see it coming cause you’re blinded from the start.”
Encouraging someone doesn’t keep them. Cooking for them is the same. Waking up next to them doesn’t prove anything, same as texting them good morning to good nights as well. It won’t keep the person who you wish will never leave– unless they wanted to be kept by you, that I knew.
What you’ve just read above is the actual conversation of me the guy I prayed to be with for this lifetime.
And obviously, We didn’t end up to be together.
And despite the fact that we didn’t, I am grateful, thankful and happy that we were part of each other’s life. And okay lang ‘yon. Maybe it was God’s way of saying that ‘He has store a better one for you’ and that it will require patience to wait and deeper understanding. Perhaps we all have our own time. When God sees when we’re ready and capable. There maybe– he will give us the love we deserve.
My point here is, we all are not weak. We, may be, sometimes, mostly– but there will always be that time when it will turn into our own strength. It’s just so that pain is required and you need to embrace that.
Another is that, every body has their own version of “Greatest Love”. The kind of love that is sweet to cherish but– was never ours to begin with. And that it’s okay. Just remember that you deserve the love you give and one day, perhaps one day, we will meet the person who fits into our enigmatic puzzle.
To you my almost,
I still remember the day I sent this to you, love. I knew I needed to be there for you because of the pain the world has caused you–even without you reciprocating or expecting you to give the love back and I don’t regret any of that. What would be my regret, is not loving you at all.
All I’m praying for now, is your everlasting happiness ☺ I pray you’d always be and always will.
