Do you have a certain person in life that brought you pain to a great extent? Someone who created damages and invisible scars of abuse that are very difficult to heal?
Well, I have. It paralyzed my dreams and even my relationships.
Time heals everything, that’s what everyone says. But some wounds run too deep to heal, and pierce the deepest layers of one’s soul. Then, how do we begin?
There’s no need to rush, you can take all the time you may need to cry and grieve. Sometimes we get in such a hurry and rarely take the time to pause and honestly speak with ourselves. We wrap the pain with all sort of things to avoid what truly hurts.
In the light of these, Do you know how we can stop a wound from getting worse? We clean it. No matter how painful it can be. We expose it wide open so we can purify every parts of it.
It took me five years before I do the necessary for my heart and asked brave questions to that certain person. It was year 2017 when I took the first step. It brought clarity. It was not easy, but it sets me free.
Now, I am taking the time to honor the scar I never wanted to even look before. I am breathing into the parts that calls my attention.
To the scars I wish to hide,
Today, I am taking a step of bravery, going deep deep down to the roots of our history. To the scars I wish to hide, because the pain they represent is far greater than the physical pain caused me. I am releasing freedom to the parts I had held on so tight for how long that keeps me bleed. I am learning to speak. No more hiding.
I revisited the old wounds with eyes wide open and a heart that no longer focused to the faults and flaws. As memories guide me to the clouded parts before that I haven’t notice, that is now clear. I started to acknowledge my faults and shortcomings – which is a lot!
Yet, I just came to share but not to stay. I’m here to permanently close the door and sprinkle new hope that comes in the morning. I am no longer playing the blaming game nor the endless “what ifs” chase. I’m here to finally call it a night and honor the scar of what we had as part of my humble gracious story.
Honoring God for the strength He has given during those sleepless and hopeless night. Those times when no one understand my silent screams. The Lord was there embracing me in tight arms while saying, “You are not alone. I am here“.
It has taught me to bend down on knees in worship and trust that He will lead, guide and protect me. Even all others left, God remained. His presence endured all my screaming and breaking.
What we had was records filled with God’s grace. I had to go through that refinery because there are things in sorrows only I would find. Our past tells all the pain but it is also records of how I called God endlessly for help. I am weak but He became my strength. I am out of hope but He gave me reasons to be of good courage. God met me at worst yet fully embrace me.
A picture where my aches and screams weren’t the center of attention but the hope which made me worship in the midst of pain. From the painful season of healing to believing and knowing and hoping on things that yet to come. The strength God given me from the beginning until my brokenness became a beautiful living story.
These scars may look ugly and made total damages. But it has to happen, it needed to marked. Because one day, when people look at my scars, they will not see a broken story but a story of God’s healing. My scar is not a picture of ache and misery but a blueprint of bravery and new beginnings.
I am holding to the most sturdy hands I have – Jesus – that is everlasting, so true and forgiving. Readily taking this process if it will lead me to things I couldn’t get anywhere unless I go through this deeply. Looking back now how He allow me to grow from grace to grace and glory to glory. I found beauty in those pain. I did lost my way but He whispered, “You’ll be okay“.
So many different prayers I’ve prayed for all the things might happen. But most of all, I desire to know that you’re walking in the truth. May you let God’s love give you roots.
These scars serve as a valuable reminder of our past. My scars teach me that I am not defined by that, but by the One who gave beauty and purpose for everything. No amount of pain in the past can surpass His plan to prosper and made me whole. I found beauty behind and trusted my unknown future to the One who holds it.
The Scars I Wish To Hide is Now The Scar I Will Always Cherish.
And as I truly let go and open the door of the next chapter, I am holding onto God’s promise of forever. I declare closure to every corner of those pain, I will never allow the enemy to snatch the peace that I have in Him again. Enough.
Recognize that the past is no longer my reality. I am healed until eternity.
Cheers to the scars of our past!
