Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.
There are times na hindi mo mapipigilang tumibok uli ang puso mo. Minsan hindi mo mapagkatiwalaan yung sarili mong nararamdaman kasi sawa ka na sa pag-ibig na hindi naman nagtatagal. Kakahanap mo kay “the one”, lagi kang napapadpad sa sitwasyon na ang puso mo ay laging napapalaban. Hindi mo alam kung tama pa bang sumubok ka uling magmahal? Tama bang binuksan mo ulit ang puso mo sa kaniya? Dadating sa point na magkakaron ng duda sa mga plano mo. Magkakaron ng second thoughts kung nasa tamang tao ka na ba. Pero ang totoo, takot ka lang talaga magmahal. Dahil sa love, hindi pwedeng ikaw na lang ang masaya. Kailangan mas iisipin mo yung kaligayahan ng taong mahal mo kaysa sa’yo. Kahit umiyak ka pang mag-isa, kahit magkunwari ka pang masaya, kahit sabihin mong okay ka lang, lalabas pa rin ang katotohanan na marami kang takot na hindi mo pa rin nalalabanan. Pero ang maganda sa pagmamahal, natututunan mong kalimutan lahat ng personal mong agenda para sa isang taong nagturo sa’yo na pakawalan lahat ng kaba.
Ano ang mga dahilan bakit takot ka magmahal?
- Hindi ka pa nakakamove on sa past relationships mo.
It’s either ilang taon or buwan na ang lumipas, but you’re still lost and locked up in your past relationships kaya takot kang buksan muli ang puso mo. Hindi madali dahil iba-iba tayo ng process sa pagmove on. Pero you should realize that nothing good would come out from clinging to your past. The only thing that matters is your present and your future. Kung ikaw yung nakagawa ng pagkakamali, forgive yourself. Kung ikaw naman ang nagawan ng mali at nasaktan, choose to forgive those people even if it’s hard. It’s fine if you want to unfriend or block them, as long as it would give you inner peace. Do not feel guilty to do what’s best for you. Kaya ang dapat mong isipin ngayon ay yung napakaraming opportunities na paparating pa lang sa’yo. So when the right person comes, you’ll be completely ready to offer your whole heart.
While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:
- Takot ka sa commitment.
Many people avoid relationships dahil ayaw nila mag-commit. Gusto nila malaya nilang nagagawa lahat ng gusto nila and they don’t want to be tied to one person. Kung ganto ang pakiramdam mo, siguro nga hindi ka pa talaga handang magmahal. Because a relationship will never survive if there is no commitment. Hindi pwedeng sarili mo na lang palagi ang iisipin mo, but you have to consider the happiness and the commitment that you have with your partner. You should be ready to be honest, open and loyal. Kailangan willing ka na makasama yung tao na yon in good or bad times. You will not just stay kapag masaya lang, but you will choose na manatili sa tabi niya kahit mahirap or magkakaproblema na. There is no joy in a relationship kung hindi ka willing mag-commit. That’s why before you say that it’s love, you must also ask yourself if you are also ready to commit.
- Ayaw mo nang masaktan.
Ito ang mga linyahan ng mga taong paulit-ulit nang nasaktan because of entering relationships na hindi naman nagtagal. Siguro nasasabi mo na lagi na ayaw mo na, pagod ka na, kasi palagi ka namang nasasaktan. But you have to realize that there’s nothing wrong you. You just found love at the wrong place, wrong time and wrong person. In that way, you will completely move on and look forward to brighter days ahead. Understand that love is not just about pain, but it could make all your worries go away. Real love won’t make you question about your worth and it will never make you feel that it was your fault that things didn’t end up okay. So be true to yourself and see that someone will truly love you for who you are. May isang tao na ipaparamdam sayo na hindi mo deserve masaktan.
- Masyadong mataas ang expectations mo sa love.
It’s okay to dream of a perfect person for you, pero kailangan mong malaman na walang perfect na tao. And as long as you keep on searching for the perfect person, hindi mo makikita ang sincere intentions ng mga taong gustong magmahal sa’yo. You have to accept the fact that love is not the ones that we see sa mga fairy tales or typical love stories in the movies, but it will be hard and rough at times. You must be willing to take the risk kapag natagpuan mo yung taong magmamahal sa’yo ng totoo. Drop all your expectations and worries and let your heart feel. Siguro kaya hindi mo pa mahanap si “the one” kasi takot ka na baka hindi siya yung tulad ng inaasahan mo. But believe me that love comes when you least expect it. It also comes from unexpected people. Enjoy the unexpected and be happy that your heart learned to love again.
Alam ko that there are more reasons kung bakit takot tayong magmahal. You may write yours in the comments section or share your story. But out of all the reasons, remember that you always deserve to be happy and fulfilled. Choose to remove your fears and open your heart again. Someone is surely meant for you.
