I AM SORRY.
I’m sorry for everything, not only for what I let others do to you but for what I did too.
For when things went wrong, I took it all out on you.
I’m sorry for the damage to you and for the times I went too far.
For holding onto others longer when I should have held you tighter.
I’m sorry for never putting you first.
For letting everyone who left take a part of you.
Most of all, I am sorry for being completely incompetent in loving you better than you deserve.
I FORGIVE YOU.
I forgive you for thinking you deserve less and that you are unworthy.
I forgive myself for staying in an unhealthy situation, one-sided friendship with toxic people.
I forgive you for all the wrong turns, long unnecessary stopover, and stubbornness to start right.
I forgive you for prolonging your own agony.
I also forgive you for hurting others, for letting hate to consume your bruised heart.
For believing you are not enough, for insisting so bad that you need to save the world without realizing it was you who needs to be saved.
I forgive you for hurting God while hesitating His love and plan for you, and lastly, I forgive you for taking it too long to forgive yourself.
I believed the hardest thing any human being could do next to loving oneself – is to forgive themselves.
But maybe, when Jesus said “Forgive your enemy” He also wants us to forgive the part of ourselves we find unforgivable and that forgiveness is so precious because it breaks the barrier we built that keeps us away from God. Forgiveness is precious because it leads us Home – it leads us to Heaven.
THANK YOU.
Thank you for continuing to be strong and fighting silent battles that only you can ever know.
Thank you for having the courage to admit that there are things you need to be sorry for and there are things that you need to forgive about yourself.
Thank you for standing up for yourself and for being brave by cutting the toxic ones from your life.
Thank you for staying alive.
Today I stand here, possibly too far from who you should be, but I promise to keep you until I am worthy of being you again.
Till then, let us continue the journey we have started to become the best version of yourself.
Love,
Chok
