Endless Trials

I always wanted to do something that can easily remind me of you, so here’s me. I just wanted you to know that it’s okay, I’m okay. It’s okay that you can’t give back the love that I’ve been craving for from you, I don’t want to force you into something that you’re not ready of or yet. It’s okay to tell me ’no’ please don’t be afraid of saying those two letters, I know it’s gonna be painful for me but I can take it. I can take it just please don’t lie, don’t tell those gusto kita pero phrases, that is only gonna make it worst and is going to damage me for a very long time. Please don’t be afraid to hurt me one shot, say it directly, don’t make me hope or hold on to something that is never gonna happen or is unclear because we both know that I am not gonna let go of that for the next 5 months. It’s okay when you told me that you loved me even though we both know that you’re only getting caught up in the moment. I know that I pressured you a lot and I’m sorry for that, I’m sorry for those unnecessary questions I asked when we both know that I have no rights to ask stupid questions especially when I make selos.  I know that there’s a spoken and unspoken thing between you and me, yes you and me and not ’u’ and ’s’ since we’re unlabeled, it’s okay, I know you tried at least I know that you never meant for this to happen ako lang talaga nagpumilit. At least I know that even just for a second, you loved me and I thank you for that. Don’t worry I’m okay, I am going to be you taught me how to love truly, you taught me that pain has part in loving and for that I thank you because that damage you’ve caused me brought me back to our Creator, my faith grew stronger so does my trust and now I can see clearly why God let me meet a person like you, He wants me to go back to Him to trust him to what He has planned for me, to make me wait into something and to stop being so impatient. He became my refuge. Thank you for those endless rejections, I wish you all the success and happiness in life. Thank you for making me brave to let go of what you and I had for the meantime, for now I’m gonna keep you as a friend as what you always wanted in the first place yes, that’s how much I value you. It’s okay, I am going to be okay for God is with me.