Seasons in life may bring deepest sadness, struggles and suffering into our lives. That’s how I felt when I went through the darkest season in my life. Betrayal left a scar in my heart that developed insecurity, unending questions, doubts, self-pity that took me time to understand, why the Lord my God allow such thing to happen as it is unimaginable, unspeakable, unexplainable, unthinkable.
But despite of the storm raging towards me, despite of the uncertainty, the insecurity, the pain, the heartache, the wailing, the tears every night, the questions, despite of it all I have seen the Lord and He met me in the midst of it.
It is a privilege to share and testify the goodness of the Lord through my life. I have come to understand that opportunity don’t just come in wealth, having the job that you’ve been praying for or going to places. The best perhaps grandest opportunity is when you are in the midst of the storm. When you are suffering, when you have to cry a river just to ease the pain, and when you surrender everything to the Lord Jesus Christ because you can’t do it on your own.
When we are in the midst of the storm, our initial prayer would be “God, I don’t want to endure the pain, take me out of this season, as soon as possible, as early as now.” Well, who among us would like to suffer, to be in pain and to be heartbroken? The answer to that is, No One. Little did we know that through that prayer, we limit the capability of the Lord to deliver us in His perfect time, His own way, His own might and power, we also limit the supremacy of the Lord Jesus Christ to rule over our lives.
During those difficult seasons, I have come to understand and know God more. More to me means, a deeper understanding of His character. What kind of God He is, how wide, long, high and deep His love is. I’ve also learned to dwell and delight in Him and He puts me a desire to seek Him, know Him and never depart from Him. How important it is to have the right heart while enduring the pain for God sees it.
When our God allow things to happen in our lives, take it is an opportunity to dwell in His presence. To trust and to rely not on your own understanding but His way and understanding. Let the sovereignty of God manifest on how we will respond and obey even in the midst of suffering. Let his Glory shine that people may see in you the true worship, a genuine praise and the great faith.
I may still be in the process of healing, healing from the pain caused by the person I once shared my whole life with. But God assured me that He will heal and bind my wounds and cure my soul. He promised me that what he is doing is for my own good and it is to prosper me and not to harm me. I am beyond grateful that through the pain, I have come to understand that God will never take something or someone away from me without the intent of replacing it with something better. Having a great faith is more of seeing how faithful the Lord is. How unchanging He is, how gracious and loving He is. I thank the Lord beyond measure for blessing me with such wonderful souls whom I can share my deepest sorrow, grief and pain. Spiritual family who remained committed since day one, who prayed for me, embraced me lovingly and assured me that this too shall pass, who encouraged me to take heart and wait for the Lord. Indeed, there is a greater lesson out of enduring the pain no matter how difficult it is and great revelation comes through season in life we prayed God to spare us.