I’m already done chasing the kind of love that demands my full attention, time, and heart. That kind of love is exhausting and draining. I don’t want that.
I want the kind of love that allows me to continue to wander, grow, and build myself.
The kind of love that will love me with full honesty and respect my privacy. I will allow you to, don’t worry. And I want you to trust me too especially. I am a walking chaos. A living disaster. A breathing time bomb. At any minute, I feel like I’m going to explode. And the thought of what’s going to happen next really scares me.
Every time I explode and feel like I’m drowning, I don’t want you to swim for me and save me. I want you to just hold my hand, hug me tight, and have hopes in me that just like my other bad days, I still have the strength to survive this. That I’m going to survive this once again.
On my part, I really don’t have much to give, but I will give you the largest part of my heart.
I am not good when it comes to love, so don’t expect me to love you the way loving someone should be. But instead, know that I will love you the way you deserve to be loved. The way I should love myself.
I will be your ocean buddy – let’s listen to the sound of the waves and wonder what it feels like to be one. I will also be your late night travel buddy – we will own the world every night. Or maybe if you’re not in the mood to conquer the world, let’s just sleep next to each other and let’s talk about the things our minds are made of. How the universe was made and how amazing it is to be part of this world. Let’s go to the kitchen and while we are in our underwear, hug me from behind and let’s dance in the beat of old time slow songs and rock and roll.
And we will go
back to our bed
and we are going
to make love.
Because love is
like drinking beers,
and we are
so drunk tonight.
To the one I’m going to love next, if I love you, I don’t have any plans of letting you go. I know we are living in this generation where giving up is always an answer whenever things are not going the way we supposed that they would. But we will be different.
Love is a battle and I will give my best to every fight because you are worth it, we are worth it.
I am not going to give up on you. In this world full of temporary people, I want to be your permanent one. The one who will always admire your beauty and chaos, your flaws and grace, your smiles and tears. The one who will stand between your own version of beauty and ugly, good and bad, imperfect and perfect. And I choose both.
I will always choose both.
-Mark Acosta
