I have to admit, I’m beginning to like you a lot
I have to be honest, I always wanted to see your smile and be in your presence each night.
I have to say it, I’m always tempted to check how are you and what keeps you busy.
If I could tell you these words, I will….
But not just these things have I been wanting to tell you:
If I could tell you how much it hurts, how I cried and doubted myself many times, I will..
If I could tell you how I struggle everyday praying that what Im feeling could just suddenly disappear, I will.
If I could even tell you how I fall into this trap of being inlove with you, I will.
But as much as I want to, God won’t allow me.
God won’t allow me to share to you the pain
He won’t allow me to share to you the heartache
God won’t allow me to let you see me in tears
He won’t allow me to let you know that it’s been years I’m kneeling down even from the start, that He will guard my heart.
God won’t allow me to make you feel worried if you will be.
He won’t let me tell you the joy of being inlove and the pain that subsides.
He won’t allow me to do it because God won’t allow me not to get healed.
God won’t allow me not to feel redeemed.
He will restore me and make me feel that I am loved inspite the fact that to another woman you are inloved.
God will comfort me as he will embrace me with His open arms everytime I think the actions that were misleading and the day you let me fall asleep on your arms.
He will cover me with His love, even all this time I’ve been wanting to be covered by yours.
He will change my mindset that one day it will work for both of us. He will turn it by saying, “better be friends” and let go.
I stop being close to you because I have to..
Have to love myself, see myself as someone appreciated, and treasured by God.
I have decided to let go of all,
Decided to move on even if it means, maintaining no communication at all.
Decided to avoid every step you take, every moment we could be together.
As much as I want us to be friends, I guess it can’t happen for now.
It can’t happen because Im very willing to protect what remains.
It is not possible because even though the pain is bearable, I don’t want to fall over and over again.
But, I must thank you.
Thank you for being part of your life.
Thank you for allowing me to share you my stories.
For letting me care for you and admire you on the other side.
Everything I did, everything I gave, everything I showed was not because I want it to be reciprocated but because I am a friend.
We started as “friends” and now I must put it to an end.
There’s a saying “there are people meant to stay and people meant to go away”
How I wish it could be the first one but I know it is not.
I let these feelings go and the friendship go.
I’ll let the pain be gone, already done..
Hoping that one day, when all is perfectly okay,
When the world lets us cross our path,
When we already have our own life and each other is no longer part.
When God allows us to meet each other again…
I could tell you the things I never had courage to tell you..