Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the official position of Boiling Waters PH.

For once I want the world to stop chasing me. For so long i keep on running away, trying to escape the heaviness of all the tears i am trying to hold back from falling. For once, I want the world to stop for a moment and let my feet rest for a while for avoiding the stones that lets me bleed.

I want to stop by for a moment and feel my own breath. I want to feel that my heart still beats, that I am still able to go through and keep moving. I want to lay down and close my eyes from what i thought is a beautiful reality. I want to stop hearing the voices of the people whom once i thought are lullabies and mellows. I want to stop and feel the air that surrounds me and telling me that things will get past and i will be through it.

I am tired. I am exhausted. I am worn out. I am consumed. I am torn apart. I am living through pieces of shattered moments, surviving through the flickering light of hope and holding on to the sound of broken melodies made me realize i am living a life that’s out of tune.

While you are busy reading this article, try mo rin makinig sa episode namin:

I don’t know how long this will last, or if it can be possibly forever. I am losing my grip from all the things I can hope for, I am losing my sight to what can be possibly out there, I am losing my feelings to all the hardships and pain, as if I am now numb to whatever painful things that may come in front of me. I am losing my entirety.

Most of the time I look up the in ceiling and suddenly a drop of an unknown and unexplanable emotion runs off my face through my cheeks and pillows. I don’t know what it is made of and why it falls down, why it keeps on watering on the side of my eyes and I cannot hold it back. I want to stop it because I know it will be harder for me to control it once it begins to pour out.

Maybe not understanding is sometimes better than knowing it all and having your heart explode. Maybe the world will keep on chasing me and I am forever be running just to keep the pace and not to be left behind. Maybe the things that I once dreamed of seeing are the things that will make me blind too, I guess. Maybe, the moments that I am waiting for are the same moments who will break and tear me apart. Maybe, the softness and gentleness of the voices I once dreamed of listening are the same voices who will be breaking my ears to the sound of goodbyes and farewells. And maybe, the air that I thought would embrace me and keep me from numbing is the same air who will left me out in the cold and will not bother to leave me freezing.

Someone please save me.

Send me the best BW Tampal!

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