I should have stopped it.
I shouldn’t follow my heart.
I shouldn’t hope
I should have said it right away.
I shouldn’t become weak.
I should’ve walked out after I saw it coming.
I should’ve kept myself from getting drowned.
I should keep swimming.
But still,
I let myself drown in thoughts and doubts that hunt me every night.
You hurt me so much!
I kept telling myself that it was okay not to be okay.
Even though I know that everything is not okay between us,
Remember how you told me how fortunate you were to have me?
But why do you keep putting me in a position to feel unloved?
Why do the very things I despise the most?
Why do you always disappoint me?
Why did you put me in a cage and never let me grow and explore?
Every time I decide to do this or do that,
You always bring up my past against me just to win the argument.
simply to feel better about yourself.
You are selfish!
In the first place, I know that I don’t deserve you.
But I keep on hoping.
Maybe, somehow, you will change.
Nonetheless, your arrogance persists.
Your manipulation
Your astute observations
Your endless judgement
It hunts me!
It hurts me.
You don’t know what I’m going through because you only see what can benefit you.
The love I gave
The efforts
The understanding
The weaknesses
Everything I did was to give you the love that I never received from you!
You judged me.
You lied to me.
Now, I am more than happy.
Finally, I had the courage to end that miserable relationship.
Unstoppable wars and fights
I just want to tell you this: I am not defined by my past mistakes.
I can be who I want to be. I am not your ex or someone else!
I can be more.
I am better now!
I am who I am, and I don’t need to prove it to anyone, especially to you!
Don’t ever come back.
Never again.
