“HINDI siya gwapo, pero mabait. He’s someone that i’ve been looking for.”
Nagkakilala kami through chat. He messaged me after reading my comment on one of the posts of Boiling Waters on facebook.
Nagsimula sa isang simpleng tanong, hanggang sa hindi inaasahang pagkakakilanlan.
Napuno ng masasayang tawanan ang aming bawat gabi. Dahil sa wakas, sa hinabahaba ng aming paghahanap sa aming ‘the one’, we met and got found.
He’s nice, and a very fine man. Kumpleto ang letra ng mga salita kapag nagme-message siya. Hindi siya ‘Jeje’. Mukha din siyang matalino, at may sense kausap. Kaya niyang sabayan ang pagka-senti ko. And I also discovered that he likes peaceful places, he is a nature lover like me!
Marami kaming napagkakasunduan. I discovered a lot about him that really made me fall for him. I’ve been asking myself, “Is he really that someone that I’ve been praying for?”
Before I could find the answer, we decided to meet in person.
Nakakakaba. I don’t know what to expect. Nanlalamig na ako na parang natatae. Basta, legit yung kaba.
And we met. I saw him standing near the pedestrian lane. And to my surprise, the uneasiness that I have all over me earlier, vanished. I got disappointed. Is it because, hindi siya gwapo? Or that he didn’t meet the expectation I have inside my head.
The man that I’d pictured in my mind is very far different from the one standing in front of me. He became a very different person.
After that meet up, I realized, looks does matter. Call me any bad words you can think of but, I cannot lie to myself.
I’m not looking down on him, or to the he looks, it just that I have my own definition of gwapo, and he doesn’t have that. Para sa akin, hindi kailangang maging kamukha ni Daniel Padilla, ni James Reid, or ni Piolo Pascual para masabing gwapo, ang gusto ko lang naman yung disenteng tingnan, malinis tingnan at magaling magdala ng damit kahit hindi branded o mamahalin. In short, hindi ‘jeje’. Yun lang naman, eh.
Am I being rude? Well, sorry but not sorry. I’m just being honest to myself. I’m lying if I say I like him just because he’s nice to me. I want to be honest on how I feel. And I honestly didn’t feel excited seeing him.
Love is a choice. It’s our choice to like someone, or fight for him. But, how can I choose to love him if I cannot learn to love him for who he really is in the very first place?
