What’s your status? Are you single? How’s your single life? how’s your season? This is the usual question we got from anyone who do not know about us. Sometimes in the family reunion, you will encounter a question, “bakit wala ka pang asawa??”, “kailan ka mag-aasawa??” or sometimes like this, “wala ka na balak mag-asawa??”. Annoying but it is true. Kailan nga ba? Bakit wala pa? Or may balak pa ba??
There are a lot of factors why we are still single this time, depends on the situations we are now, depends on the current status of our heart and sometimes depends on the budget also. But definitely, the question really is, are you maximizing your singlehood?
I am single at 34, currently no girlfriend, walang dinidate, walang nililigawan, always basted, but still okay. I am not bragging about my status not asking for mercy. I am sharing what is being done on my season or I consider this as a journey, somewhat part of my adventures in life. Being in the season of singlehood is also a season of faithully waiting season – take note “faithfully”. What it means to be “faithfully” waiting? A lot of things you need to consider, to sacrifice, to set aside or to remove in your life. I am not clean at all, just so you know. I got rejected always and I didn’t have a girlfriend na niligawan ko ( except my first which is a rebound – I am the rebound kaya di ako nanligaw).
During sometime of my singlehood years in 2009 when I am not yet delivered by God, I usually went with friends in almost anywhere to validate my existence – I went to night clubs, red light district. There are times we drink there, and do some deed (I just pay them pretending to “do it” but not – I am shy to admit that I still preserve my purity upto now). I am too hungry for validation – if I have a right to be love since I am always basted or rejected. In fact, I accepted already that I will end up alone, single, no family of my own. I didn’ t get the validation I craved for until I meet Christ way back 2013 thru Y-Am. During that time, I realized that I don’t have to get the validation of my existence to persons or to the world – but I can get it only from God. I shed tears and repent from all my sins. God showed me that I am loved, in fact He sent His Son Jesus to die for me, for my sins. He love me more than I even know or more that even expected. The validation is clear – I am loved by the Most High. He made me a new creation – not the unlovable rejected fellow, but a creation too dear to Him – a creation He love most.
I removed those things in my life since it actually led me to sin and those acts that does not glorify Him. I started a new life in Him and align in His purpose. Early 2014, when I get the promise from God thru Genesis 2:18 – ” It is not good for a man to be alone, I will make a companion suitable for him..”. That verse really stuck in my heart that I decided to surrender my life to Christ and to accept Him as my Lord and Savior. From there, one thing I managed to protect is my purity while waiting for the fulfillment of the promise. And I started my faithfully waiting season finally.
Yeah, I met someone (4 actually, different year) on the way – but I was still rejected. In fact I learned to lay down properly – last 2018, I managed to lay down my intentions to a friend of mine. It was refreshing, I learned a lot – but same result – rejected. Currently, I am in love with someone. I decided not to connect to her for the meantime – not because I know or I am afraid that she may reject me, but more of to fix myself and to give her time as well. I am still loving her despite that we don’t talk. But I am okay, secured and loved by my God. I maximize now my season: I engage in the ministry, I disciple, I work hard and sharing my thoughts in writing as well.
There are times that God is doing something in us, that we do not know. There are times that those are painful like rejection. Sometimes, hardships, heartache, frustrations, and a lot of things. This is part of the process – this is God’s pruning to prepare us for His promises. He doesn’t want us to receive His promises unprepared. Part of the pruning is that God is removing persons in our life that will hinders us in our growth in Him and for His promise. The pruning God is doing in me is too painful that there are times I am loosing grip on my faith. But the end of the day, I am still standing victorious after. God is not yet done for me and my life.
This is my singlehood story. The bottom line here is that singlehood is more than just a status, this is a journey. Don’t be sad nor fret if you are currently single and waiting. Maximize your season. Connect more to God. Connect more also to your friends, your church community. Engage in the ministry, Don’t validate your existence to this world. You will not know that on your season, God is actually doing things on your behalf. Remember Ecclesiastes 3:1 it says ” There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens..” Wait faithfully, repeat, wait faithfully.
I am single, I am on the journey and faithfully waiting on God’s promise to me.
– The Basted Bachelor.
